HELP MY RELATIONSHIP

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
HELP MY RELATIONSHIP
2
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 12:16pm
Hopefully I am in the right room for this.

My husband and I have been married for 17 years. We have 2 sons, 8 and 11. Our problems started a couple of years ago..

We have very few friends outside our relationship. Neither of us has been too outgoing in our lifetime. All high school friends disassociated themselves from us after graduation. So really we have been each others best friend all this time. I guess we have spent too much time together, because I seem to find myself bored with him. I still love him but not sure if I like him much anymore. Everytime we make love I feel empty, and at times sick to my stomach.

I can't say that I want out of the relationship, but I have had a few affairs to, wrongfully, fill that void. Our sex life has always been good, on the verge of great.

Now though with the kids we seem not to have too much time for each other. I seem to be hurried all day. I work a part-time job, and have all the home responsiblilties too. He helps some but not enough. Now he has been laid off from his job of 16 years and going back to school, but still I am expected to do it all. Guess I am just stressed out too much.

I know I have rambled a lot but hope you can get some perspective on my situation.

Do I stay or do I go? What do you do when you can't stand to be together and can't stand to be apart? How can we open up our communications? That is another thing, he waits until late at night to want to discuss anything and gets upset that I am ready for bed..

ANY IDEAS????????
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 2:07pm

there can be many reasons that you feel that way - sometimes it couldbe physical (hormones....) and sometimes emtional (if you are frustrated and upset - then you are not going to want to make love with him). it sounds

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 2:56am
i enjoy having quiet pillow talks,it seems to take a deeper root.once that communication is in tact we have understanding.and being able to communicate and have a understanding is very important.i dont think that you should leave your husband based on what you posted.remember for rich or for poor?right now he don't have a job but hang in there,and pray for your marriage.really i can't compare my relationship to your marriage of 17 yrs.about the infidelity you know that does'nt make anything better for your home.but having kids to watch after and house duties and work can weigh its toll.seek pro. couseling for marriage before giving up.