help - sorry this is long

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
help - sorry this is long
6
Mon, 11-19-2007 - 11:20am
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 11-19-2007 - 1:59pm

Welcome to the board fiance1234,


You need to ask her about the receipt for the hotel. What kind of excuse could she have to stay in the night in a hotel in the same town that you live in. And if there was a perfectly good reason, than why didn't she tell you about it.


Ask her ASAP and let us know what she says.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 11-19-2007 - 7:01pm

Welcome to the board fiance1234,


I too think you need to ask her about the hotel. But expect her to lie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 10:54am
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 11:56am
I find it extremely odd that the two of you live together and she's never mentioned this friend coming down and staying on the weekend that you were to be gone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 12:01pm
I agree with Carrie. If I had a friend coming in from out of town and was going to stay with them in a hotel this is something I would have told my husband about before hand. Of course my husband and I pretty much tell her other everything so maybe our relationship is just different that your and your fiances.

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Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 1:01pm

Before you jump to conclusions, give her a fair chance to explain. She wasn't hiding the receipt. In fact, she asked you to open her bag and get her keys. It doesn't sound as though she were hiding anything. Listen to her explanation with an open mind. Then, verify it. Get some evidence about it, if you are so worried.


There are reasons other than an affair. Be straightforward with her about your concerns.


Trust is the basis of all healthy relationships. You have to work on your jealousy. If it pervades everything that can easily ruin the quality of the relationship for both of you. On the other hand, if she is flirting or having an affair, your jealous feelings can be justified. The important point here is to go slow, give her the benefit of the doubt, check evidence, and see what it is you need to be able to trust. It might benefit you to speak to a professional counsellor for awhile to get a better understanding of all the factors going on.


Best wishes,