Help w/ new relationship after divorce
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Help w/ new relationship after divorce
| Wed, 04-25-2007 - 4:14pm |
Hello!
I really need help with this one folks...
I've been dating this guy on again and off again for 8 months. He is recently divorced and I'm going thru the divorce process. We met online and really made a connection. We have so much in common and things moved pretty fast the first three or four months...My problem was that when we did spend time together, I shut down and didn't talk a whole lot. When we spoke on the phone, things were great! Well, he stopped wanting to see me so much about three or four months ago because of this and never told me why. We've broken up three times and gotten back together because of our connection and wanting to talk with each other. Our last break up, which was about three weeks ago, was when he told me that HE STILL LIKES ME A LOT AND LOVES OUR PHONE RELATIONSHIP, BUT WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER, I DON'T TALK. SO, THAT'S WHY HE WANTED TO BREAK UP WITH ME. Well, we were both miserable for a week or so and started talking again. I went to go see him last week and I was FINALLY myself around him, which I think made him very happy. He calls me all the time, as he usually does. He calls me when he gets outta work and when he's on his way to work and we always talk for at least an hour or so. We also chat online... My problem with being around him was that I was afraid that he would know that I've fallen for him, so I just shut down. Now, I'm myself and basically want someones opinion that IF HE CALLS ME A FEW TIMES A DAY (PLEASE NOTE WE LIVE 2 AND A HALF HOURS AWAY FROM EACH OTHER)AND WANTS TO SEE ME ON MY DAYS OFF, ETC...DOES THAT SHOW INTEREST THAT HE'S IN TO ME??? Thanks for listening.
I really need help with this one folks...
I've been dating this guy on again and off again for 8 months. He is recently divorced and I'm going thru the divorce process. We met online and really made a connection. We have so much in common and things moved pretty fast the first three or four months...My problem was that when we did spend time together, I shut down and didn't talk a whole lot. When we spoke on the phone, things were great! Well, he stopped wanting to see me so much about three or four months ago because of this and never told me why. We've broken up three times and gotten back together because of our connection and wanting to talk with each other. Our last break up, which was about three weeks ago, was when he told me that HE STILL LIKES ME A LOT AND LOVES OUR PHONE RELATIONSHIP, BUT WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER, I DON'T TALK. SO, THAT'S WHY HE WANTED TO BREAK UP WITH ME. Well, we were both miserable for a week or so and started talking again. I went to go see him last week and I was FINALLY myself around him, which I think made him very happy. He calls me all the time, as he usually does. He calls me when he gets outta work and when he's on his way to work and we always talk for at least an hour or so. We also chat online... My problem with being around him was that I was afraid that he would know that I've fallen for him, so I just shut down. Now, I'm myself and basically want someones opinion that IF HE CALLS ME A FEW TIMES A DAY (PLEASE NOTE WE LIVE 2 AND A HALF HOURS AWAY FROM EACH OTHER)AND WANTS TO SEE ME ON MY DAYS OFF, ETC...DOES THAT SHOW INTEREST THAT HE'S IN TO ME??? Thanks for listening.

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Yes, it seems he's very interested in you and not only that, but that's there's a strong connection between the two of you. It can be scary to have feelings for someone, and sometimes we do hide, or shut down. This is to prevent ourselves from being hurt. In the beginning of a new relationship it is natural to feel vulnerable and want to be secure about the other person's feelings for us. You probably shut down around him to make sure you didn't turn him off and also t be sure he still cared about you.
Give it a try. Be yourself, be open and realize that when we have the joy of love and closeness, there is always risk and sometimes pain. A life without pain is a life of numbness and constriction, which is another kind of pain.
Be brave and give this all you've got.
Best wishes,
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