HELP!! what can I do??
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| Mon, 01-28-2008 - 4:00pm |
Hi,
I'm new in this section. I've bee in my realtionship for almost 2 years now. We were soooooooooooo good until the other night we spoke gt into an argument kind of an now he wants us to have a break. I said alot of things about how certain things he said about us or me made me feel like he was using me and taking advantage of me. I did admit to him and apologise for some things I said cos I did say them out of anger!! not good!! After everything I said to him he said I he has felt the past two years has been in vain because I dont appreciate his feelings for me. we broke up yesterday and i saw him today. He still wants us to be friends but he said he is finding it hard but he will keep an open mind.
I really need some help here!! the truth is I do appreciate his feelings but I have always been one who doesnt know how to accept love from men. It happened with my ex but it was a different situation so I didnt see it. I do now but I dont know if its too late.
What can I or should I do now? what can i do to make him feel like I appreciate him?
HELP!!! I love him so much i'm useless at feelings stuff so please help me!!

Welcome to the board jmilano,
At this point I don't think there is a whole lot you can do. Let me know that you do love him and appreciate him and that you want to be with him. Maybe you could write him a letter telling him exactly how you feel.
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Surely there was a grain of truth to what you said.
that statement came about when my mother ans sister spoke to me about the things that happened in a previous relationship. they always used to say to me "why cant you see that J loves you alot?" he used to go and talk to my mum because he didnt ever know what to do to show me because I never believed it.
i understand it may be too late from what i said. these next few days are crucial we had plans for valentines and he doesnt know if he wants me to cancel them yet. He jus let me know he may come and see me for my birthday still. but you are right i should leave him to miss me. at the end of the text he just sent he said mayb he'll give it a couple days but right now he feels that way. he said he wants me appreciate our friendship first then go from there.
to me there was some truth in what he said sometimes i felt he gave mixed messages, which he doesnt think but he thinks i over exagerate what he says and interprut them completely wrong!!!
i dont know if this was the wrong thing to do but i did it!! he made a comment today telling me what he thought i replied to a text about how serious we were to me. so i resent him the text and befre that told him i want to readc what was really said so he can get any ideas out of his head that are not correct.
should i have done it?
I don't really understand what you said you did in regards to the text message. Could you explain that a little further?
In any event, I really think the best course of action is to just leave it alone. Give it at least a week with no contact! He wanted to break up for a reason, and that reason doesn't just go away within a day or two. Nothing--and I repeat, NOTHING--can be resolved when you don't take time to think about the situation, alone, uninterrupted. He needs TIME. Please give him that.
all it was basically is that in talking today he said to me that part of the reason we a re on a break is because i said our realtionship wasnt serious enough to be worth having. I told him I was going t find the text that i had replied to wen he asked me "do you not think what we are doing is serious". this was because before we stop contact wiith each other he gets it out of he head that I said that and gets in his head what was really said to him.
does that make more sense now?
Welcome to the board jmilano,
I hope you take this time away from him to fiind your self-worth and self-esteem.
This:
::they always used to say to me "why cant you see that J loves you alot?" he used to go and talk to my mum because he didnt ever know what to do to show me because I never believed it.
and this
::i said our realtionship wasnt serious enough to be worth having.
Tells me you don't feel worthy of a relationship.