Help! What should i do?!?
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Help! What should i do?!?
| Thu, 06-07-2007 - 8:25pm |
Ok so I had been dating my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years when one month ago he decided he needed a "break" from the relationship. We had been in somewhat of a slump and the break resulted from a fight we had. I had snooped through his phone and found out that he had lied to me about smoking. I confronthed him about it and a bunch of other things came up too. Such as how he is always so busy, he has work, a new puppy (that i got him for christmas) and he and his dad are doing alot of work on their house. I am so what of a needy girlfriend but he has gotten lazy in the relationship. He claims he still loves me and I am still in love with him and I am trying to give him his space and I have sorted out all of the problems i was causin in the relationship however i have tried to get him to talk to me but hes pretty much avoiding me. he is also one of those guys that HATES to talk about "us". I know that if he didnt want to get back together he would have just broken up with me in the first place but he didnt and i know he doesnt want to throw away what we have. how should i approach this do i keep trying to talk to him? what is thr right way to go about all of this? how can i convince him to give us another try?

To be honest, there's nothing much you can do. Especially if he hates talking about "us".
You can either wait patiently or give him an "all or nothing" altimatum.
However, if you do give him an ultimatum, it's possible he may choose "nothing". Having said that, even if you do wait patiently, there's no guarantee that he will return to you. The fact that he's avoiding you does not bode well.
Sorry I can't be more positive.
But even if you don't get together again, at least be happy with the knowledge that you've learned and grown with this experience. And due to this, your neediness won't spoil a future relationship.
Firstly, for some guys a break is another way of saying a break up. They can't bring themselves to let the woman know that it's over, so they do it slowly, in that way. If you are on a break, it means you are no longer in the relationship.
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Welcome to the board lms725,
Did you two set up any "rules" or guidelines during this break? Like if you were going to see other people, or see each other occasionally, how long you thought the break would last, etc.
Since he was the one that initiated the break, he has all the power right now. It is his decision on when he wants to get back together. However, you can let him know that you are ready to and that you don't want to wait forever for him.
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Hi lms,
I think you have gotten some good advice. You need to let him miss you and let him come to you. If he doesn't, well, you will cope with it, but it's better than chasing him.
If he's that closed off that he can't talk about 'us', what's the point?
but it is better than chasing him.....
i really am alone here, but i do feel you have gotten the responses from those that dont feel the love like you do...the passion only a young woman can feel...yes, you know what i mean....i think, if not sorry.
i ask you about the fight that made this man think that he wanted a break from you. please go into more detail.
I just know that once you take a real man and make him feel less than by calling him on somehting like calling him out on one of his bad habits.
Listen to what the other four woman who have posted have told you (and ask them about heir love lives) and you will be alone.
Go to him and say sorry for the fight (IF you really disrepected him like it seems you may have), and tell him you love him and YOUR puppy. Tell him how are sorry and how you want a life with a man, a real man, in your life.
Or, listen to the CLs and professionals here and then email me when you find yourself alone in life.
I have to go away.....I can't take this much longer.
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i couldn't live with this either.
you are so better off....just let him go and it will pass and you will be stronger for it!