Help..I don't know wat to do anymore.
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| Fri, 09-17-2004 - 11:46pm |
The problem now is, about a week back, we were talkin over the phone and he told me that he loves me but he looks upon me as a sister. He doesn't look at me as a woman in his life anymore. He also said that I'm a bit of a guy, n that maybe the reason why he feels that way. I was so hurt and angry and I asked for a time off. After a few days we talked n I told him that I dont know if I shud hang on and try to make things work. He tried to talk me into staying and I finally agreed to stay. But I did tell him, that even if I changed, I dont think that his thinking of me as a sister would change. I still dont believe that.
Yesterday, I had another talk with him, or rather I talked to him over the fone, n he said he pretty much still feel the same way. And I asked him, why is it that he never wants to discuss things with me? And he gave an answer that really hurt me: Maybe you're the only one i cant discuss things with. It hurt a lot. After i cooled down, i talked to him, and he told me that even though he looks at me as a sister, he still loves me. And he admits that he doesn't know what to do, and he's really frustrated that things are turning out this way. He wishes that he can look at me as a woman, but if I cant change that's the only way he can look me as. I do admit that sometimes I do look at things in a guy's perspective, and there are many things that my girlfriends dont understand about guys,which I do. I also do admit that sometimes I am a bit boy-ish, but I can't help it. Now,I'm thinking of tryin to find myself. To find the real woman in me. At the same time, half of me tells me that it won't work out even if i change and find the real me (I'm tryin to find myself for my sake, not for his). I'm thinking of letting go,but at the same time i love him too much and I cant bear to part with him.
My questions are, what is it that a girl does that makes a guy look at her in a different light?(as in from a woman to a sister) And what is it that I can start with to find myself? And what do i do to make him change the way he looks at me? And how really does a woman act? I'm really curious about that because i want to know what is it that sets me apart from a true woman.
I am also thinking that maybe our intimacy is gone, because we dont make out anymore and that maybe the lust is all gone.
Thank you.

It could be the way you dress (clothes, heels, make-up, etc), the perfume you wear, the way you present yourself. However, change yourself for him to keep him is not always the best way to go. I mean, he should on some level like who you are.
I wish you the best.
Carrie