Her stubbornness!
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| Wed, 05-30-2007 - 1:51pm |
My parents have vested on lake front property about a mile down the shoreline from their house. My Dad is liquidating his estate early and has presented the lake house as a gift to me and my family. Long story short, IT WILL BE OUR HOUSE and not my parents' even though they would be the 'banker'. Follow? Again, no matter what, my wife and I will own the lake house. My parents have offered to take payments less than the mortgage that I am paying now, after I sell our current house - deal of the century. There are no strings attached and this is a great opportunity to better the lives of my family (wife (12 weeks pregnant.) and 3 year old son). In addition, I grew up on this lake having many memories. My wife feels that we should NOT accept this gift because the lake house isn't being obtained independent from my parents. I feel that we should accept this gift. Do you? Is her stubbornness and independent thinking is getting in the way our son? Yer thoughts please?
How can I convince that this is a great deal?
Thanx!

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Welcome to the board mgoblue6572,
Well, lots of families don't do business with other family members, due to complications BUT it's happened in my family with no problems.
She feels this way because she believes that we should be independent people, i.e. buy our own car, house, etc. There are no strings attached - my wife and I will be the owner of this house. Not 'Dad' (he will just act like a bank), and we can decorate or do whatever we want with place. My wife does NOT feel comfortable with receiving gifts of this value from anyone. I think it IS a great opportunity. I can just imagine Joe (my son) and I fishing from the dock anytime we want. There's not very many people in their early 30's owning a $500k lake house, especially getting a sweet deal like this. I can't imagine giving up this opportunity.
1) We would be paying exactly the same in mortgage payments after our current house sells.
2) Lake front property is a great investment.
3) The utilities, gas/electric, would be less since it is a smaller house. - bonus
4) My Dad is making it so we can afford it. Wow! THAT'S A GIFT....
5) I'm thinking about "What a great opportunity for my family?!"
6) I am a real estate guy and lake front property is a great investment.
As long as the title is going to be in your name and everything is legally in place so no changes (increased monthly payments) can be expected after the fact I'm going to go with stubborn and unreasonable!!! UNLESS - your parents are manipulative and controlling - will hold this over your head as if you owe them something - will use this as an excuse to infiltrate your life and personal business. You get the picture. Otherwise, I think it's a great thing when parents can help out their children as long as it's a gift made with love.
I would use logic and reason and seriously, she has no right to deny you what is essentially an inheritance from your parents. It's not about her. That makes her behavior selfish.
>>UNLESS - your parents are manipulative and controlling - will hold this over your head as if you owe them something - will use this as an excuse to infiltrate your life and personal business.<<
This is what I was wondering....hence my question asking how his wife feels about his parents.
Some possibilities:
1. It is part of your inheritance. I'm pretty sure that this is how your parents are probably looking at it. They want the house to stay in the family. Your dad and mom are realizing the tax benefits to you and your dw by gifting it to you now for both you and for them.
2. Perhaps your dw would feel better if the paperwork was done just as it would be if you were buying the place with "owner financing." Are you doing it this way? If not, this would be a pretty simple thing to do to ease her mind.
3. If your mom and dw get along, perhaps your mom could have lunch with your dw, just the two of them, and explain their feelings of it being an inheritance and of their looking at it as "YOUR" home, not "theirs," once you move in.
People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within. -Ramona L. Anderson
It sounds like a wonderful, beautiful opportunity. Let her know that you are paying it off and therefore it will be something that you've bought together. Your parents are being generous and kind. Nothing wrong with that. It will give all pleasure. Tell her people get great deals in all ways - this is only one of them, and it's foolish to pass an opportunity like this by. Ask her to put aside her feelings a bit and trust you on this one. She will also benefit. Perhaps she's afraid of being indebted to your parents, or feels they will then have some hold or control over you and the family. Assure her this won't be the case. Respect her need for independence and work this through carefully.
Best wishes,
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How are you going to keep your little ones safe from drowning in the lake? Drowning accidents are the number 1 cause of death in young children.
Personally, I wouldn't live near a body of water while my children were little.
People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within. -Ramona L. Anderson
Hi IVDarian!
Thank you for your comment. Note that there is a 3/4 acre pond at my current house and railroad tracks in the back yard.
I don't think that the danger of living on a lake is an issue. Do you?
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