Heres a doozy for ya

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2004
Heres a doozy for ya
2
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 6:47am
This is sort of long but i will try and keep it short. I was told 2 years ago that my ovaries where failing and my chances of concieving were getting slimmer with each passing year. My B/f of 3 years and i decided to try and get pregnant after trying for a year i was waiting to start my period so i could begin fertility treatment when i found out i was pregnant . Up until then my b/f was pretty normal he would have regular moments of being a jack ass but was pretty much okay. A couple of months into the pregnancy he started acting like a jerk. He would take over night trips to the bay area with his buddy to play in card tournment even though i would ask him not to leave me home alone. We got married in November and things just got worse.( i had some pretty good complications with my pregnancy) He ignored me while i was on bed rest and would complain when i asked him for help. In my 34 week i was diagnosed with a pretty nasty case of preeclampsia I had to stay in the hosptial for 3 days and he refused to stay overnight with me. They let me go home and he basically sat and played video games while i stayed on the sofa. After our daughter was bornit got even worse. When he comes home from work( i quit my 30,000 a year job to stay at home) he goes straight into the computer room and plays video games til around 1 or 2am. He never comes home early when i ask him but every friday night he leaves work at 4 to go play cards. He lies to me about going over to this one particular friends house, and then tries to lie more when i catch him. The klincher for me happened last weekend. I went out for the 1st time since i became preggers for my girlfriends bday and stayed out till 3:30 ( i came home twice to nurse the baby) and i did not drink at all. So sunday afternoon he tells me he has to go to work to finish a project. At 9 pm he calls and tells me he is at His friends house playing cards and drinking beer, he tells me since i stayed out all night he is going to also, fine i am sort of upset but not really at 10 pm he calls to tell me that he took MUSHROOMS and he just had to let me know about it. I DO NOT LIKE DRUGS AT ALL. I know he has been smoking pot and lying about it. Also all the men at this house are single and they hang out with some pretty loose women, so who knows who he is talking to( or worse) when he is there Now my question is do i stay and try to work it out. Do you think he is acting like a child and not ready to be a father. I can't sleep and i can't decide i need objective opinions my family wants me to leave but i am so afriad to. HELP ME PLEASE any advice would be helpful. Sorry so long
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 8:32am

And what reason are you still with this guy? He does nothing for you. he cant even so much as support you when you are pregnant with the child HE helped create. On top of that, you are letting your child in the company of someone who stays under the influence of drugs...what happened if your child was taken away from you because of someone elses mistakes..your house, car, child... you are willing to risk all of that for someone who doesnt even do anything for you????????


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 11:10am
Why are you afraid to leave? If I were you I would be afraid to stay.