He's a 23 yr old Virgin
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| Tue, 08-05-2008 - 2:08pm |
So I've been "hanging out", dating, this guy for 3 months. He recently told me that he's a virgin and he's 23. Then last weekend he told me that he has never messed around with a girl - EVER. He's only kissed 4 girls and thats as far as it went. I can tell by what he does that he's very unexperienced. He seems a little unexperienced emotionally too. He always drives to see me and we either hang out at my house or go out to eat, bowling, to the bar, etc. He's a real gentleman. I wrecked my car a month ago and was stranded with no way home and he drove an hour to get me and take me home safely.
But then when I bring up the subject of a relationship things get all weird. We've talked a few times about it. He says he likes how things are right now and wants to keep it going. We see each other about 2- 3 times a week. But it seems like he has a problem with intimacy (obviously since hes a 23 yr old virgin). Sometimes he doesn't even want to kiss me and I'm like why won't you kiss me? And he says he doesn't want me to feel like this is something we have to do alll the time and then he doesn't want me getting dissapointed if it doesn't happen. He says he really cares about me and doesn't want to hurt my feelings. He also came over to my house last weekend whenever my cat died because he knew i was upset.
Is this normal? Have you ever heard of this? Should I run as fast as I can? Or should I stick it out with him and see where it leads? Its really frustrating because he gives me so many mixed signals. When it seems like things are going really good and progressing well - all of a sudden he slams on the brakes.

Welcome to the board shopaholik85,
I don't think you should run based just on the fact that he is a virgin at 23. Here is nothing wrong with that. I would worry some that he is giving you mixed signals, but it is still early in the relationship. He could just not be sure to act completely and doesn't want to feel like he is pressuring you. You have only been together for 3 months. You are still getting to know each other. Give it some time.
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Welcome to the board shopaholik85,
While at three months, so physical affection is normal and he could be going slow because he wants to be sure or because of inexperience, this part: And he says he doesn't want me to feel like this is something we have to do alll the time and then he doesn't want me getting dissapointed if it doesn't happen.
This is part of his belief system, part of who he is and he's telling you what to expect in the future.