he's asking me to do something..yuck

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2005
he's asking me to do something..yuck
12
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 4:21pm

hi my bf of 3 years, all of a sudden wants me to get a "breast


pump" and induce milk into my breasts, so he can suck them and


be nurtured.....called Adult Nursing Relationship........I have never


even heard of this, and I don't want to do this...........and now he


calls me a baby. He even had me read articles on women producing


milk & men who like to nurture the milk from the breasts, and not


always in a sexual way, a nurturing way. So I tell him, no, I will


not do this, and we are now fighting cuz of it. Am I crazy???

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 4:38pm

No, you're not crazy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2005
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 5:10pm

i think cuz maybe he thought i'd be "open" to his wants and needs,


but what about mine & my body.........I said no............its just not me.


To me, this asking way too much, to actually pump my breasts, when I am


not preggo, so he can "nurture" himself.??? no way.................I stood up


for myself, and I think he is mad cuz I am not being vulnerable, and saying


"ok, honey".......It pisses me off, and I have no idea where this is coming


from.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 7:04pm

You mean "pregnant"

But yeah it's not usually possible to get milk if you're not pregnant. And I can't imagine it would be that great for you to force it.

If you're not comfortable with it, tell him you're not going to do it and that's the end of that. If he insists then you should not be with someone who cares more about his sexual pleasure than your personal comfort and respect.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 8:50pm

Actually, this is quite easy to do. Adoptive moms do this. There are specific devices made to assist if the mom doesn't produce enough breastmilk. http://pediatrics.about.com/library/breastfeeding/blbreastfeedingy.htm

Also, there are medical reasons and medications that can cause this.
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/ate/womenshealth/204181.html

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 1:51am

Welcome to the board thevinster,


No, you are not crazy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 7:40am

Thevinster, I have to say this sounds absolutely crazy to me. If you hadn't posted here before, I might have wondered if you were making it up, but here's a link for those who want to learn more: http://www.geocities.com/pblue1235/main.htm.

I nursed my children, was a member of La Leche League, etc. (I also made all their babyfood, took them outside in a backpack--really crunchy). There are two things about nursing that you have to remember: getting started is painful, even if Mother Nature has filled your milk jugs, which in your case has not happened; and you have to KEEP PUMPING (or he has to keep suckling), or your breasts will engorge very painfully.

Babies have a strong motivation to suckle several times a day: it's how they are fed, and they can't send out for pizza. Men do not want sex every night, but your guy is going to have to suckle if he wants your milk to keep coming in. It may start to get old for him, but you will still have a lot to do in case he wants it next week. You are going to have to take a breast pump to work and pump on your lunch hour. You will have to wear distinctly unglamourous nursing bras, with padding in case your breasts leak. You will be susceptible to mastitis, a painful condition that occurs in lactating animals.

It sounds as if the benefits are all on his side, and the inconvenience is all on yours. I really think you're going to hate this, not only for the pain and hard work, but for the infantilization of your sex life. For those who find this a nurturing addition to their intimate relationships, that's great, but only if both partners are enthusiastic.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 02-11-2008 - 3:23pm

Welcome to the board thevinster,


I think this really boils down to him asking you to do something sexually that you aren't comfortable with. Then he is pressuring and belittling you because you said no. This is your body, and you have every right to say no to things you aren't okay with. Stand your ground. Sounds like it might be time to find a new bf.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Mon, 02-11-2008 - 7:33pm
ewwww...absolutely not.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
Mon, 02-11-2008 - 8:23pm
If he wants to explore something that doesn't interest you, he has to respect that. You are not here to satisfy every sexual quirt of his. Some things are going to have to remain a fantasy. Doing something that isn't comfortable for you is not healthy!
By the way, it's my understanding that you CAN'T nurse until you've been pregnant (either ending with an abortion or baby). The hormones needed to trigger milk aren't produced until a pregnancy is done. You can use the pump every twenty minutes 24/7 and you'd never have your milk come in. Now, if you have had a baby/abortion and you pumped regularly throughout the day, the milk would come back. I've even heard of a woman who was writing so much about lactation for her thesis that her milk came back (but she'd already had babies).
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 02-12-2008 - 7:10am
It's sometimes (not always) possible to pump milk without having been pregnant, actually I've heard of a couple of men being able to do it. Which makes me think that maybe the OP should turn this one around on him!

Pages