He's Begging me to come back...HELP!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2003
He's Begging me to come back...HELP!!
3
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 1:45pm
I had posted in early Dec. with this problem:

<
Im a 33 years old female, and feel like Im kind of wasting my time if marraige isn't going to happen.>>

*****

OK, so a lot has happened the last few days...

For xmas he left town. when he got back, things were the same (bad)...We had a big argument on Monday, with him basically getting angry and it was decided that he would move out.

Tuesday, he did a complete reversal, and was apologizing, begging, crying, saying that he hadn't realized how he was acting, and that he was sorry, he loves me more than anything...

Wednesday, I was leaving the house and he gave me a diamond, saying that he wants to spend his life with me, Im the one for him...I was freaking out, because Ive basically spent the last month or two preparing mentally for his leaving. He said I didn't have to accept the diamond, he just wanted me to see how he felt, and to give him another chance...

Well, my emotions have been completely flipped all over the place, and it all boils down too: Is this a normal reaction for a guy who's getting the heave-ho?? It sounds stupid, but Ive seen it in the movies, but have never experiened it firsthand...

Anyway, I proceeded to talk to him for a bit, and then left and spent the night at my friends house (I needed to get away)...

So now what do I do?? My first instinct to the ring is no, this will not change things and make everything perfect...Then I think, god, this is what Ive been dying to hear for soooo long, am I making a mistake? But then I flip back and think, the light was flickering for so long, and it had died out. I don't think if I can turn it on again...

Has anyone ever been in this situation?? Please HELP!!

Thanks!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 4:41pm

Why not tell him that you need some time, and give it a month or two to see how things go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 6:50pm
I so have to agree with northwestwanderer here.

Give yourself a few to see what is "really" going on with him. Is this just his way to pacify you for right now? To keep you where he wants you?

The counseling couldn't hurt neither.

AND gut reactions are usually right on.

Take some time for you and figure out what you realy want now.

Take care,

PlayNICE

 

I am co cl for "Ask Dr. Ruth" board. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 8:58pm
I agree with the other posters - wait it out and see if things really get better.