He's A Cheater And Admits It...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
He's A Cheater And Admits It...
6
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 6:43am
I recently started dating this guy, and he is seems so nice. He drove two hours to meet me, and we were really hitting it off nicely I thought. So we have been talking online a lot, and he is very open and honest about things, and last night we started talking seriously about having a romantic relationship when the other shoe dropped.

He is a cheater. He cheated on his exwhife, and he told me flat out, that he is not a faithful person. He says that he tries to be, but that self-control is an issue for him. One of my guy friends says, "All men cheat, your best bet is to find a Good Cheater, and stick with him", and then threw in "If he admits to it now, he is a good man."

While I don't buy that, it makes me wonder if he might be right. I am very dissapointed, I was really starting to like this guy a lot. And it stings a little. I have been let down really badly in the past by men, and I don't want to put myself in a situation where I am risking my heart, OR my health.

I also am not out to change any man, but this one seems so awesome, it is hard to immagine he could really be this bad. Should I give him a shot? Maybe the solution is just to NOT have sex with him, but remain close? Or just turn and run now?

What do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 6:59am

No, but do not pass go with this guy, do not collect your $200.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 7:23am
I suppose I should run. It is hard for me to run from a challenge, but it is even harder for me to get over a heartbreak. Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 7:27am
This isn't a challenge, he isn't saying that this is something in his past he wants to work on, he is saying that it will happen again and that while he "doesn't like it" he can't change it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 7:47am
Yeah, your right he is. I'll give it up I guess. I don't want to even try to change him. I am not in the "Change Your Man and make him YOURS" routine. It is silly and stupid. Aren't there any Ready-Made ones out there? It seems all I meet are guys who want to be free, or guys who are married and want me to be their Secret, or guys who will have me drop them at a Strip Club after a nice date... <<
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 7:49am
Well, sorry to say it looks like you need to keep looking to find that normal BF, but it will happen :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 5:02pm
Turn and run now.

:::One of my guy friends says, "All men cheat, your best bet is to find a Good Cheater, and stick with him", and then threw in "If he admits to it now, he is a good man."

That actually tells the character of your male friend as well. People that say 'everyone cheats' it just means that they cheat.

A woman (F) at my boyfriend's work was talking to my boyfriend's cubemate - a married woman (L). They were talking about 'cheating' - L said, just because you, F cheat, doesn't mean that everyone does.


Carrie