He's distant and angry. Is he cheating?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2008
He's distant and angry. Is he cheating?
6
Mon, 10-13-2008 - 2:16am

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Mon, 10-13-2008 - 4:11am

You've been married 16 years and you get angry because he didn't return a phone call you made to his work? Then you email him to tell him how angry you are and how you can't depend on him? Why? Because he didn't answer your call?

You know, it could very well be that he is cheating, but it does sound to me that your husband is tired of the way that you treat him. I would bet that there's a LOT more to this then you are telling us. Perhaps you have not been as "happily married" as you purport to be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 10-13-2008 - 3:14pm

Welcome to the board paigeit,


What's happened in the last year?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Mon, 10-13-2008 - 3:42pm

Hmmm, if his work responsiblities have changed in the last year ... that might have a lot to do with it ... you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2008
Mon, 10-13-2008 - 10:32pm

You are right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 10-14-2008 - 1:28pm
It IS easy to say things in the heat of the moment. Some times we need to vent, stay it, get it off our chest, release the emotional charge so we can see it differently and move forward.
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-14-2008 - 2:52pm

There are many reasons why he would be distant and angry. There's no reason to assume that he's cheating. The best way to find out what's bothering him is to ask. Ask in an open, inviting way, not full of anger and blame. He may not know himself what is bothering him, or he may? If you create an enviornment of trust and friendliness it may make it easier for him to let you know what's going on.


If the anger and withdrawal continues and he refuses to talk about it, then I suggest you let him know that being in a relationship means communicating - and if he refuses to communicate or work on his feelings then the relationship is being endangered. It's not healthy for either of you.


Best wishes,