He's driving me crazy!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
He's driving me crazy!
2
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 4:57pm

So three years ago we moved. He agreed to save us money and set up our place himself. No big deal.


Three years later every thing that needs to be done is. Now he's looking for the next project. I told him he's going to have to hold off until I get some bills paid off. He's been pouting ever since and moody as hell.


I have a great job and have no problem letting him be the house wife, like he says he wants to be. But I can't afford another renovation right now.


He has repeatedly said it's my money, do with it as I please. But then gets made when I actually take him up on the offer. I want to build another outbuilding in the future. I want to add onto our kitchen. But I also know that I'll have to purchase another car in the next few years. All of my cars have over 130,000 miles.


I also would like to get the debt we gathered during moving paid off a bit quicker. I can't get him to see that this really is a good thing to do.


Also for the past few years I've been listening to him making empty promises. It started when I was in school. Then it was I'll get a better job and pay off your loans after you graduate. Then after we moved it was I'll work harvest to pay bills down. That didn't happen either.


Don't get me wrong, I've accepted the fact that he isn't going to work. The financial plans works with-out that. There just has to be a little control on spending for a year.


Are men programmed to drive us insane?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 5:40pm

Welcome to the board mkcurran,


You are stronger than I for being able to stay with a man that won't work. I have been there and done that and will NEVER do it again. But I have to ask, why won't he work and does he contribute to the housework?


If you want to want on more projects until you get some bills paid, than stuck to that. If he gets mad about it, remind that he told you it was your money and you could do what you want with it.


Maybe you could set up an appointment with a financial planner and take him with you and he would agree to hold off on spending for a while.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 5:46pm

He's very valuable around the house with out having to work. Heck I say he's my wife. I usually get three meals cooked for me everyday. He's not so great with the vaccuuming and laundry, but he's built one heck of a green house with a totally awesome grotto-like shower in it. So yes, I see the value in him staying home. He just needs to be cheaper about it for the next year.


I am the financial planner, I've got a descent grip on it these days. I just want him to work with me and not complain. When he made the money and stayed home I was supposed to suck it up. Can't I expect the same with him?


After our last fight, last night, he went out and filled out an application today because, "That's what'll make me happy" He just doesn't get what makes me happy would be to not worry about financing his next project right now.