He's let himself go

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2008
He's let himself go
8
Mon, 01-28-2008 - 1:48am

45, married almost 25 years to husband 10 years older.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Mon, 01-28-2008 - 2:36am

Justme, congratulations on your life changes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 01-28-2008 - 1:33pm

Welcome to the board justme562,


If this is something that is really bothering you, than just tell him about it. You might want to preface it with saying that this is going to make you sound like a bad person but that you are bothered by his weight, etc,...


You will have to be prepared for him to be upset with you about this and for him to think that you should love him no matter what.


Have you tried to ask him to work out with you? Like getting a membership to the him and asking him to go with you or asking him to go on walks with you. You could also try keeping healthier foods in the house.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 01-28-2008 - 1:40pm

Welcome to the board justme562,


Consider Phil McGraw's book - Relationship Rescue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2008
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 12:51am
Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2008
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 1:12am

I was 20 when we married.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2008
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 1:15am
Hi and thanks for your response.
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-31-2008 - 2:46pm

Yes, you can tell him, but be careful about the way in which you do so. Do not do it in a critical tone or with harsh language. Tell him that you find yourself wanting to feel more attracted to him, and that perhaps you can find ways together for this to take place. Gently let him know that his physical appearance makes a difference to you. If you do it in a way that lets him know clearly that this is important to you, and still not attack his ego, that is the best chance for getting results. If he does not want to listen at all or respond to your needs in this matter, that is something else again. Then you have to decide how this is going to impact upon your whole life and the best way to go forward. It might be helpful to speak to a counsellor about it. And also, if you simply spend less time with him, build a life of your own with new friends and activities, this may be a spur to him to wake up and get in shape.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2008
Fri, 02-01-2008 - 9:26am