He's moving to CA and i'm in MN!!! Help!
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He's moving to CA and i'm in MN!!! Help!
| Mon, 02-16-2004 - 6:35pm |
Hello everybody! I'm new to this whole thing but i thought i'd throw a question out there. I have had a rather stressful few months. I've been dating a guy for that past two years. I'm in love with him. We get along wonderfully. I'm only twenty and he is twenty-two. We both love eachother more than anything and have talked about getting married some day but we are young yet. Now heres the catch. He is in a band with three other guys. They all live together now and have just recently decided to take the band to the next level and move to CA. They want to try to make it big. Now is my issue. I am in Minnesota and have one more year of college to finish. I also am not so sure that they can make it big. They are a good band but not all that original. It really isn't my place to say that to him though. This has been his dream for the past ten years. I have never wanted a long distance relationship. I've talked to him about this and bottom line they are moving and he wants me to follow him in a year when i am done college. Am i supposed to follow him out into some forign land just because i love him. Is it really fair of him to say that he loves me more than anything and yet not take me into considerating in the fact that he is just totally up and leaving me for a year. I am so lost. I know people will say, "Your young, you'll meet someone else. Or, if he really loved you then he wouldn't move" But is that so true. Anyone that knows us, knows how much we are in love and how great we are for eachother. Does anyone have any ideas for me? Please help me. I am so lost.

If this is a dream of his, I would supoort him in doing this, no matter what you think the ultimate outcome will be with their careers...I also think that you should saty in school and finish, one year isnt as long as it seems to you rightnow, and after two years, you gotta know he cares for you too..
Ill be the first to tell you, that a long distance relationship is hard and sometimes doesnt work out the way you'd expect it too, but all relationship s are work.Give it a shot, you never know.
Good luck,
If your love for eachother is strong it can withstand some distance. You love him and I can see that, so let him go and realize his dreams. Support him and be happy for him. I know you'll get lonely for him but focus on your last...and probably most important year of school. After that, then I'm sure you can reunite and you'll both be better for the experiences. If you do happen to drift apart, then maybe it wasn't meant to be. But don't put much stock in that fear at this point in time. Be the loving, supportive girlfriend you've been and let him go. There's always emails, phone calls, letters, and the occasional visits.
Jennifer
"Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evi
Coming from a relationship where I have gotten little to no support in the things I wanted, I can tell you that it will harm your relationship if you cannot support each other in the things the other wants to accomplish in life.
Don't hold him back from his dreams... especially this one as it sounds like a big one to him. If you hold him back, he may come to resent you down the road and where does that leave you???
Have you really talked about what you want to do when you finish college? Don't know your major but is it something that you can be successful at in CA? Do you want to live in CA? This could be hard questions to answer but both of you have to be totally honest about all that you want out of life. If you aren't... your relationship could be headed toward rocky ground...
It is not my intention to scare you with this post but I have suffered and struggled so much because my husband has not support me in the things that I want and need. All I am saying is that, if the 2 of you really want this to work, you need to be totally open and honest. Sacrifices will have to be made on both sides... In the end, if it is meant to be, IT WILL BE...
Good luck!!