He's nice to every single girl

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
He's nice to every single girl
6
Sun, 03-07-2004 - 6:25pm
I've been dating my guy for 3 years. Everything is good except I don't trust him because he is so set on pleasing other girls. He cares more about hurting their feelings than mine. He always says to me "I say yes to what they ask so I avoid conflict and I don't get any of their attitudes.", but he's getting mine because he can't say no. And when he does actually say no he makes up an excuse about why he is saying no. I'm sick of it. He keeps saying he is allowed to have friends who are girls, and yes he is allowed, but he should not care more about hurting them than me. What should I do? Do you think he is cheating either physically or emotionally?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 5:55pm
He can't say no because he doesn't want to say no. He doesn't want to hurt their feelings because their opinion means more to him than his relationship with you. Plus, I'd bet he likes their attention too.

Can you life this way? Because it's his character and it's not going to change because he doesn't think he's doing anything wrong.

If you can't, then it's time to move on.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 10:34am
You're right. Maybe if he loses me he'll realize what an idiot he was. Thank you so much.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 10:43am
I would probably leave for a while and give him a wake up call - the part for me that would be hard as well is that these female friends of his see that they come first and if they're malicious, may think they are better than you and have that power over you - I couldn't stand it. YOU should come first, he must think you'll be there no matter what he does - he needs to suck it up and stop trying to please all these WOMEN, especially if he isn't like that with male friends as well. Tell him to be a man and get a backbone.

 

Tiffany

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 11:01am

As you are so uneasy and uncomfortable with his behavior, it seems as if this is not the right relationship for you. Clearly, he has problems in the way he relates to women. You feel he cares or is more considerate of them than you. Why be with someone who is not able to be considerate of your feelings,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2004
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 12:48pm
Hi, first off is he young? Sounds as if he is either pretty pathetic or just doesn't know how to treat a girl. Let's hope it's the second option. I had a husband just like that and yes he was in his early 20's, he was very pathetic, and he was cheating. Look for other signs of his mishaps and think to yourself if he's worth keeping, cause 3 yrs. may seem like a lot, but even one single day of feeling he isn't trustworthy is too much!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 5:32pm
First of all I would like to thank everyone for their advice. Yes my boyfriend is young. I try and talk about it with him and he just tells me I don't trust him. I'm thinking more and more that I should leave. I've been saying lately to him that he cares more about them than he does me and hes like "Why cause I give them a 5 minute ride?" he always goes around my questions like that. It stupid. I'm just so sick of feeling second to these girls. He shouldn't be mean to people, but he also shouldn't really care that much about whether or not he is being mean to girls. Again thank you. I need time to think.