HE'S NOT HAPPY WITH ME

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2003
HE'S NOT HAPPY WITH ME
5
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 8:27pm
HELLO,

I'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 1 YEAR , AND IM FACING PROBLEMS WITH MY HUSBAND. HE ALWAYS SAYS THAT HE'S NOT HAPPY WITH ME AND WE HAVE TO LEAVE EACH OTHER BECAUSE ITS BETTER FOR ME AND FOR HIM.

I LOVE HIM AND I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HIM OR I CAN'T IMAGINE MY LIFE WITHOUT HIM.I NEED SOMEONE TO TELL ME WHAT CAN I DO TO KEEP HIM BESIDE ME OR I MAKE HIM HAPPY .

PLEASE I NEED YOUR ADVICE

THANK YOU

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 8:34pm
First, please don't type in all caps.


If he is not happy you can not force him to stay. If you truly feel that you can not live without him then I suggest you get counseling to help you through this. You will probably see clearly why he left and realize how unhealthy the marriage is/was once you do. Then you will be able to move on.

Once he leaves you can either not deal well or deal well. Which do you want to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 9:30pm
It takes two, but you can try one of these:

Divorce Busters by Michelle Weiner-Davis



How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together: Breakthrough Strategies to Resolve Your Conflicts and Reignite Your Love by Sue Ellen Page

A Couple's Guide to Communication, John Mordechai Gottman


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Sat, 03-06-2004 - 1:45am
I really don't know what to say without more information. I don't want to pry but you asked for advice to make him want to stay. If he just says he's not happy and wants out without any explanation, I think that's really unfair to you. Marriage is not something people should enter into lightly. He should give reasons for what he's saying. Beyond that, he's supposed to LOVE you. There's something wrong with him if he doesn't. Take care.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 03-07-2004 - 6:03am
sorry hon... what does he mean that he is not happy with you? it is not the responsibility of a wife to make her husband happy (and vice versa), it is our own responsibility. is he depressed? what is he unhappy about?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Sun, 03-07-2004 - 10:13am
I'm going to have to do a lot of guessing here. I wonder IF MAYBE he just wants to get more out of you by criticizing you a lot. Some people think that's the way to get what they want. He threatens to leave you so you won't do it first. He keeps you feeling threatened so you won't realize what a louse he is and start expecting something from him. So instead of your ever thinking about yourself, you're constantly preoccupied with trying to figure-out how to please HIM. Self-centered people like that.

It just isn't fair for him to criticize all the time, especially since it sounds like he really doesn't have anything to complain about. I think our emotions, though not fool-proof, tell us when something's wrong. I think your loneliness is telling you. Best of luck to you!