hes not the same guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2004
hes not the same guy
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 5:03pm
My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months. I have had many other relationships in the past but he has not had any other serious relationship outside of ours. Not long before I met him I was seeing a guy who was horrible. I rationalized to my best friend that there were no good men left and I might as well just enjoy the good things about him. She bet me that there was someone and I would find him within the next year. I met my current boyfriend a few weeks later. We spent a week just getting to know eachother and then I finally told him that I wanted is to be more than friends. After a few days he told me he felt the same way. I was happy whenever I was around him. He was everything I knew I had always wanted. After about three months I told him that I loved him. I knew he had been trying to tell me for a lot longer.

BUT this past month a lot has changed. I am getting ready to go away to college but I am going to a school in town so that hasnt had a lot of effect on us. But in the past month he acts much different. He has been experimenting with drugs and alcohol. I have seen the effects of bad decisions like this and I am so scared for him and for us.

A few days ago we had a long talk and he told me that he is sorry and he doesnt know how but he has changed. I told him that I knew but I had been hoping...am still praying...that I would get that same guy that I fell in love with back. We do not smile anymore and we do not talk. Everyone says we act like we're not even dating anymore. I tell him that I love him and he jsut says that he doesnt know why. That is my only reply. He has promised me that he is going to work hard to figure this out and that he really wants to be himself again bc he doesnt like him like this either but I dont think he can. Thus far he hasnt even made me believe he is trying. I have all the faith in the world in him but I am just so scared and lost and sometimes I even wonder if I should tell him to take a break and sort this out but then I get so scared that he wont come back. I really need some help. Im so confused. I dont want to leave him and I dont want to lose him. I just want us to be us again.