He's so disorganized...
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He's so disorganized...
| Sun, 03-30-2008 - 9:38pm |
My boyfriend of 2 years is kind, supportive and wonderful in almost every way. We share a strong connection. The next step for us is engagement (he's 31, I'm 28). There is just one thing holding me back: he can be very lazy and disorganized. He forgets to pay bills and his taxes. He never looks at his bank statements. He's also a big-time procrastinator. He's always putting off tasks. Looking down the road, I can see a lot of nagging in my future. I don't want that. And I don't want the added responsibility of having to make sure his bills are paid and his appointments are kept. I've talked to him about this a little bit... he gets angry and defensive. Am I headed for disaster, or does the good outweigh the bad?

Well you shouldn't be keeping his appointments for him and really, it sounds as though he'd be better off if he were left to them himself rather than having someone pick up his slack.
Sounds as though you will be the bill-payer in your relationship from now on. There's nothing wrong with that task, it usually falls to the person in the relationship who is better at paying bills. I do it in mine.
Beyond the things that affect you directly I think you should leave him to his own devices. Unless you are struggling in your own life because of his affliction, it is better for him to deal with the consequences than not.
You're right. We're not engaged yet and we don't live together. I need to let him fall on his face or he'll never learn. Unfortunately the general disorganization did affect me this latest time: he's bailed on going with me to a good friend's wedding (I'm in the bridal party) because he has his friend's out-of-town bachelor party the same weekend. I specifically asked him, more than once, if the 2 conflicted and he said "um... no, I don't think so." Wouldn't take 2 seconds to actually double check. (And he's not the type to bail on a wedding at all - he's great to my friends and family).
Yeah, I would definitely be the bill-payer in the relationship. His sis-in-law told me that she has to do the same for his brother.
Welcome to the board aconfused1,
I guess it just depends on what you are willing or want to help him with. My DH has a hard time remembering some things. He always pays his bills, taxes, etc...I don't have to worry about that. But he always tells me that it is part of my job to remind him when he has things coming up. I don't mind. I know he is always doing a ton of stuff and that sometimes he just can't remember the dates.
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