He's unhappy!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
He's unhappy!
2
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 10:50pm
My boyfriend of more than 3 years, to whom I was planned to get married this summer (which won't happen for some other reasons), says that he is a man of freedom, and needs to be free and the relationship, not me in particular is tieing him down.

He says he wants to experiment and do what he wants as he likes without feeling guilty about the right or wrong of it.

He is wonderful and we love each other dearly. He is my first boyfriend and my whole world depends on him. I need help. Tell me what to do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 11:15pm
You have to let him go. It is painful especially if he is your first and you are in love. But you cannot hold him back. Those are his feelings and he is entitled to them - they are not about you and you did nothing to deserve this.

HOwever, you are not a doormat. He can be free - but can no longer have exclusivity because that means you are free, too. I would not have sex with him because that should only be in a committed monogamous relationship.

Maybe he will continue with the freedom, or maybe he will miss you.

I would tell him - have fun. But you are going to have fun by yourself because this is not what I want.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 11:15pm
You need to listen to his words. He wants out. He isn't ready for marriage. Unfortunately there isn't anythinng you can do to change his mind. It is too bad he let things get so far without telling you how he felt.

You will get over this. It will just take time. Break ups are very hard.