his ex calls him every day which bothers
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his ex calls him every day which bothers
| Wed, 03-03-2004 - 1:16pm |
I have been living with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 yrs. He is has been divorced for 2 yrs. There was alot of hard feelings the 1st few yrs. His ex hated me. Things have improved because I wrote her a letter requesting a truce. They have a daughter that just turned 18 that I adore and I wanted things to be amicable for her benefit. His ex was apprehensive, but we are now able to be at the same family function together now. ( I even gave her a card and flowers congratulating her on the purchase of her new home. Before we could not be anywhere near one another!
The new problem is this; she calls my boyfriend (her exhusband) every single day. She has one reason or another. She just sold the house that they had together, but he gave her the house free and clear in the divorce. She calls with questions and just to chat about how hard it is to let go of it. She calls for stupid things all the time. I understand that she is going through a hard time, but these daily calls really bother me. I don't feel she should be so dependant on my boyfriend.
I have made it very clear to my boyfriend that I am irritated by this. He doesn't seem to think it's a problem, and says she can call whenever she wants. He thinks I'm unreasonable. This is really causing alot of stress in our life. Any answers or comments?
The new problem is this; she calls my boyfriend (her exhusband) every single day. She has one reason or another. She just sold the house that they had together, but he gave her the house free and clear in the divorce. She calls with questions and just to chat about how hard it is to let go of it. She calls for stupid things all the time. I understand that she is going through a hard time, but these daily calls really bother me. I don't feel she should be so dependant on my boyfriend.
I have made it very clear to my boyfriend that I am irritated by this. He doesn't seem to think it's a problem, and says she can call whenever she wants. He thinks I'm unreasonable. This is really causing alot of stress in our life. Any answers or comments?

And the two of you see it differently. I'm with you. This would not be the kind of situation I would want to be in. He doesn't see your point, because he doesn't think there is anything wrong with this arrangement. Have you mentioned the possiblity of getting a third party opinion, say through a counselor to have a safe place to disucss the issue and see if he can see that him emotionally supporting his ex wife does harm to the relationship he has with you?
Sorry you have to go through this.
Carrie
Well, it seems to me that him and his ex are on friendly terms, maybe they only did it at first because of the daughter that they share, but now it certainly seems that they consider each other good friends and that is something they want to maintain.
James
janderson_ny@yahoo.com
CL Ask A Guy
Well, I am friends with my ex-husband but I certainly don't call him every day!
I am great friends with my ex-husband and there are times that I don't talk to him at all in 1 month. I just want my boyfriend to understand that this daily phonecall stuff is not normal and not healthy for our relationship, because it bothers me. I feel like she is somewhat intruding. There are days when she calls more than once. Ahhhh! I can't deal with it. I don't want to cause trouble because I worked very hard to get to the point where we are. She and I are getting along very well.