His ex's stuff

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
His ex's stuff
6
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 3:33pm
Ok, Ive never done this before but here it goes. When my boyfriend and I were moving, I found a Victoria's Secret bag. I asked him what he was doing with it, and he told me it was his ex's stuff. We are now moved into the new house and he has it put away, but I asked him to throw it away and he is hesitant about it. I don't understand why.

And another thing; this has also been driving me nuts, but if he and his ex broke up and then we started seeing each other like 2-3 weeks after they broke up, does that mean he was rebounding with me? He told me he really loved her a lot, so I don't understand how that love just went away in 2-3 weeks.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 6:11pm
I don't think it did go away in 2-3 weeks, and why would his ex have stuff *in* a Victoria's Secret bag at his house??? I'm assuming it was new lingerie still in the bag? That doesn't make any sense. I would venture to guess it's stuff he bought for her but maybe didn't have a chance to give to her. If that's the case, and he's holding on to it, that would concern me.

How long did you date before moving in together?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 4:18pm
Hi, thanks for responding to my post :)

The stuff in his Victoria's Secret bag wasnt lingerie, it was like a journal, photos, and cds that she gave him I guess-he went out to CA to visit her a couple of years ago. When we started dating the first time around, I had known him for a little over a month but we just *clicked* in that special way. I did confront him about this last night. I told him to throw the stuff away and he acted like he really didn't want to. I know for a fact he doesn't talk to her anymore, but it still makes me feel bad that he has her stuff. He needs to let go of the past.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 4:34pm
Oh, well, that's a whole 'nother kettle of fish. I thought he was holding on to lingerie!!!

I am a firm believer in keeping mementos of past r'ships and that's what it sounds like those are (as opposed to "her stuff"). So long as he has the stuff put away, and isn't visiting "Memory Lane" all the time, I'd let it go. I have a bunch of mementos from past r'ships and they are just part of my life and my past. Throwing that stuff out is out of the question.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 4:48pm
Hi,

How long was he dating her? How long have you 2 been together?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 5:01pm
Sorry to say that he still loves his ex and has told you that he did.

If you got mixed up with him 2 or 3 weeks later, he may very well be rebounding.

In order to get over a girl, guys move on to another girl.

He probably keeps the bag as a reminder of when he was with her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Wed, 06-16-2004 - 12:32pm
Hi, thanks for responding to my post!!

The answers to your questions.......

He was with her for a little over a year, and he and I started seeing each other last year and we were together for six months, broke up for a lil bit, and now we've been together for six months, almost seven.