HIS MIXED LOVE DRIVES ME MAD !!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2008
HIS MIXED LOVE DRIVES ME MAD !!!
11
Sat, 06-07-2008 - 12:05pm

Hello there !

Here is a funny and yet dramatic love story of mine! PLEASE HELP !!!

I am involved with a man 20 years my senior (40-60). He is divorced with kids almost my age.
I am really puzzled with his behavior, which, will make you laugh, or think that he's mad, or I am mad.

*************
* After 5 months together, he seems hesitant to introduce me to his kids and business
environment, due to our age difference and his professional achievements. And yet, he
talks about marriage and a drastic solution from his side.

* Some times he is rather affectionate verbally, and some times he seems aloof, as if he
is "not there with me".
* Eg His coldness may last for 2 hours, and then all of a sudden, for no apparent reason,
he becomes too emotional, too loving and caring. He claims that he is just being
serious, but I just feel alone.
Could he be concerned about his kids seeing us together?
But then he says "I'm fed up with hiding, I want everyone to know about us"

* For 5 months now he promises to offer me a gift. I keep on thanking him in advance, but
every time he forgets, and then he promises again. (It's not the gift, but his
inconsistency, as every time I have to thank him in advance, for a gift never received).

* He often says : "I have checked on your honesty, true love, generosity etc".

* His motto is "Everyone loves me, as I help and support everyone".
And yet, some other times he says "People take advantage of my kindness"

* He loves to talk about his achievements, and yet some other times he feels like a
failure due to his kindness and sincerity. He often sais he has neglected his own needs
in his effort to please others.

* He talks about pretty ex-girlfriends of about 30 years ago when he was young, and how
women adored him. This repeated gloating makes me sick !

It is rather tormenting for me to understand him, as I feel there is something wrong with his behaviour.

NOW YOU'RE GONNA LAUGH !

Yesterday he had to attend a business dinner with men only.
He came outside my job, and asked me to hear 3 songs. He sang along, but no talking!

Then he left for the dinner, and called me twice from there telling me that he missed me.
He said: "I don't feel too old for you now, as I can see other couples where really old
men hang out with young women.
But then he said "There are only a couple of women here, ah, my colleagues' daughters !

Two hours later he came to meet me full of sweat, on a windy day, with his pants unzipped. How could he sweat after an hours drive in an airconditioned car on a windy day ?
We've had sex the day before. Could he cheat on me?

Then he took me to a restaurant where he would tell me his army adventures, how brave he was as a soldier, and how everybody loved him. He kept on talking about himself, leaving me just say "YES", OH, REALLY?" "WOW, THAT'S NICE !".

In the end, he kissed me goodbye, and said I am the love of his life etc.
He asked me to give him a hair of mine to keep in his wallet.
Is this a magic practice or he's just trying to show me affection?

In my effort to explain his emotional inconsistency, I though of the possibility of him cheating, him being gay, or mentally sick, but I don't have any solid proof !
He is a "well reputable man" !
I have asked him to break up 3-4 times, but he cries like a baby, telling me "You don't love meeeeeeeeee!" with runny eyes and runny nose. And then I cry too, my nose runs too, we kiss 'n hug 'n make love, he promises to marry me, and we're back to roller-coaster again !!!!

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease help me solve the mystery of his inconsistent behaviour !

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Sun, 06-08-2008 - 4:21pm
I saw your other post about him being gay or bi.

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