His wife uses child 2 keep him from me
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His wife uses child 2 keep him from me
| Wed, 04-14-2004 - 11:25am |
Any advise on my situation would be much appreciated. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. However he happens to be married. After 2 happy but stressful years patiently waiting for him to leave his unhappy marriage he moved in with me. We were very very happy 2gether. My boyfriend left a 7 year old little boy behind when he left his marriage but manages to see quite a lot of him. The problem is, I don't think he ever got over the guilt of breaking up his family and although he quite clearly wants to be with me rather than his wife she is (for obvious reasons) totally against me and does everything in her power to entice him back. she did have a boyfriend for a lttle while but they and me and my boyfriend ended up splitting up because my boyfrind got jealous over anohter man wanting to play dad to his little boy.
We are back together now after 2 weeks but I have had to pester him to tell her that he is living back with me (which he has today - I don't know the result of that yet!) But over Easter they have been going out for family days out together and going round and for tea & stuff while Ive been at work. ALthough I know deep down he would always prefer to be with me his little boy will always keep him tied to her and she will take him back at any given opportunity. I'm scared that one day he might just see how easy it would be to slot back into the family again and I'm gonna end up drinving him back by constantly getting uptight about it! Advice please!!
We are back together now after 2 weeks but I have had to pester him to tell her that he is living back with me (which he has today - I don't know the result of that yet!) But over Easter they have been going out for family days out together and going round and for tea & stuff while Ive been at work. ALthough I know deep down he would always prefer to be with me his little boy will always keep him tied to her and she will take him back at any given opportunity. I'm scared that one day he might just see how easy it would be to slot back into the family again and I'm gonna end up drinving him back by constantly getting uptight about it! Advice please!!

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The mother of his child shouldn't be making his son think he's a bad dad because he left, and my guess is that she would run down his dad to their son even if he were with them, just on the sneak. Parents should shield children, especially young children, from their personal problems. She sounds like she's petty and selfish. I bet if you really knew, her son thinks so, too, if he has anyone to compare her to. Does he know you?
I offer you another viewpoint because I know that situations like yours can work out. Of course, I don't think a person wants to veer from God's Will, but there is a verse in the Bible that says there's a time and place for every purpose under the sun, "a time to kill, embrace, refrain from embracing", etc. Your bf may be a louse, but my guess is that he just got caught-up in an unfortunate circumstance. I can't see why he should have to pay for it for the rest of his life. There is such a thing a thing as people taking advantage of other people, and it sounds like your bf's wife may have done just that.
Maybe his parents or yours could be some help with this, if they're unbiased. There is wisdom to be gained in years of living, if people will avail themselves of it.
So you just hang in there. I think you're doing the right thing to try to rectify this situation, because it needs to be made right, but not blindly or recklessly. God doesn't expect us to just sacrifice ourselves for nothing, nor does he want that. Best wishes!
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