hisband doesn't help me around the house

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2007
hisband doesn't help me around the house
5
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 8:17pm

hi,


so my husband doesn't help me around the house at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 9:24pm
This is a problem I read about a lot on relationship message boards. I really wish it was something people gave more serious thought to before they got married. Anyway, you are not going to be able to turn him into a neat freak if that's not who he is. You married him because you thought there were things about him that made it worthwhile spending your life with him despite his flaws. Now you need to honestly ask yourself if the good things about him are worthwhile sticking out the hard parts. If they are, you should be taking the time to appreciate what you have and remember those good things rather than focusing on the negatives. If you don't think those things make it worthwhile to spend your life with him, then it is probably a good thing that you are not in a rush to have any kids with him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 6:09pm

Welcome to the board csg1977,


Your husband could be somewhat depressed after surgery and using video games as an escape, unless he's addicted....


Have you tried to approach him about marriage counseling?

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 7:51pm

No one wants to be in such an un-equal relationship with a partner who is acting like a child. It's not fair and certainly not what you expect in a marriage. He sounds confused, as though he thinks your his mother, not his wife. Why are you playing into it, paying the bills, doing all the errands and picking up the slack? Set up important ground rules about what the expectations are. If he cannot or will not meet them, then you have to ask yourself what you are doing here. His unwilling to assume adult responsibility is certainly not something you have to agree to endure forever. Let him know that. Let him know there are consequences to his behavior. And take a good, hard, long look at what you truly want from a relationship and how you can make this one healthy for you.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 9:13pm
Did you know this about him before you were married?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Fri, 09-21-2007 - 9:53am

LOL - Yes, I used to have that problem!