homemaker boyfriend ok?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
homemaker boyfriend ok?
6
Wed, 10-24-2007 - 7:58pm

I recently moved across the country to live with my girlfriend. We are both committed and hope to spend the rest of our lives together. We are both recently divorced. I have no children, she has a son. During my marriage I worked in a career I had no real interest in, so I was happy to end it and move. Now I am here and I have become a homemaker. It wasn't necessarily the intention, though I realized she had trouble keeping up. I am generally more organized than she is, and I can keep very busy with all that needs to get done everyday.

My big question is: Do you think this situation is ok? I keep getting the feeling that this can somehow be harmful to the relationship. I guess I feel like I should be working. She seems happy that I'm doing so much to help. She says she wouldn't have expected it from a relationship, but wouldn't discourage it. She makes enough income. My help seems to be a significant improvement for both her and her son's life when he is with us (every other night and weekend). All those things are good, but is there something about the situation that I can't see? And if not, why do I feel so worried sometimes? Is it just insecurity from not bringing home a paycheck?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Wed, 10-24-2007 - 8:02pm
BTW, I didn't realize this site was for women until after I posted my question...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Wed, 10-24-2007 - 8:27pm

No worries Stevil, men are welcome here too.


I'm a stay at home mum, so my advise will probably be biased.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Wed, 10-24-2007 - 8:36pm
Thanks for the encouragement! I think the hardest part about the change in my life is not talking to other people about it. Staying at home so much means seeing fewer people less often...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 12:31pm

Welcome to the board stevil73,


Men are welcomed here....hopefully you can had a male point-of-veiw on some of the posts if you feel like answering.


If the arrangement is working for you both, then it's fine.


::Thanks for the encouragement! I think the hardest part about the change in my life is not talking to other people about it. Staying at home so much means seeing fewer people less often...


That part you can work on.... meet some new people, take a part time job, do volunteer work, etc.






iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 12:34pm

Welcome to the board stevil73,


We love having men post on the board so please feel free to stick around.


As long as you and your girlfriend are fine with you staying home and being a homemaker there isn't a problem with it. You might want to find some hobbies or take some classes or something though to help you get out of the house some and meet new people.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 12:48pm
Thanks to everyone for the responses. You're all definitely right about getting out. It has been strange being in a completely new city with someone who has history and memories here. It's intimidating in a way. I have done some volunteer work, and it helps. I still feel inner pressure to work, but I also don't believe in stereotyping relationship roles. If anything I need to keep myself busy so I don't over analyze things. I tend to do that...