How can he be so cold?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2008
How can he be so cold?
5
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 5:47pm

I had a 10 year

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 7:36pm

People become cold and distance themselves emotionally in order to avoid feeling guilt, pain, or remorse. The only way he's able to be with someone else is to shut himself off from you.

Yes women can do this too, sometimes even better than men. "A part of me wants him to be unhappy and feel what I have felt." That's perfectly normal and understandable. Almost everyone goes through that, and it would be weird if you didn't. But, it would be best to focus less on him and more on yourself. What he's doing doesn't matter in your life anymore, answers regarding his behavior won't help you to find closure, you have to gain that from yourself. People act unpredictably, sometimes trust is ill-placed and we just can't tell until it's too late. Does that mean you should never trust anyone? No, but this guy changed into someone else and you had nothing to do with it nor could you help it.

You seem confident that you can move on which is really great, because you can

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 7:52pm

Welcome to the board sato1,


eggbertshootsfire nailed it.


You can follow the link in my siggy below to the Breaking up is Hard to do board if you need additional support.





angels

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2008
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 9:37pm

"answers regarding his behavior won't help you to find closure, you have to gain that from yourself"


I can't move on until I can get some answers about his behavior.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 12:41pm

::I can't move on until I can get some answers about his behavior.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2008
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 5:02pm

Sometimes men get cold like that because:


1) they become bigshots now that they found someone else and they dont have to be nice to you


2) it is easier for you to break from them so they purposely get mean so you stop loving them


3) they are in turmoil and when some men are in emotional turmoil the whole world pays


I know it has to be