How can I be strong to help him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
How can I be strong to help him?
1
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 11:53pm
Hi Ladies,

I've got a serious problem, I'm 22 and my husband is 35.We married for 2 years and we are always very sticky together. I'm a stay home mum to take care of his 11 year old daughter and she's like my own daughter.Whenever he's not at work,we are together all the time, watching tv,going out and we enjoy every moment together.We never go out without each other and we always do things together.We are so sticky that people may think we are crazy.He enjoys beers and I let him have beers on all his days off,sometimes he may get drunk but only like 2-3 times a month and it only happens when he's with me and at home so that's not too bad.

However,everytime when I'm not with him like there was one time I worked 2 weeks during x mas for my friend,also when I went back home for 2 weeks to visit with family and when he left home for training for 3 weeks. Everytime when I wasn't there with him, he got out of control and drunk alot every chance he got.Sometimes I found out by hearing his drunk talking over the phone and sometimes he confessed to me afterwards,he told me he's sick of himself doing it and he wants me to help him.But he always says he did it coz I wasn't there and he felt bad everytime we separated so he drunk so much.However,it's omething we need to deal with and drinking doesn't help to solve the problem.

This really bothers me coz I can never stay with him 24/7 especially I want to join the military in the future and will be gone for training and stuff.Also,if he's doing it at home without me being there,his daughter is gonna see and it's gonna affect her.

His mouth said he wants to change it but I dun have faith in him at all coz he's a very weak minded person,he always makes promises but can't do it.Especially when it comes to his drinking and smoking.

I felt helpless,frustated,disappointed and angry.I grew up really fast for the last 2 years just so I can be the muture one int he relationship to make sure the whole family is alright.

Can you guys give me some suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 2:01pm
Have you ever tried Al-anon, a support group for people with loved ones who have a drinking problem? Perhaps he might want to try alcoholics anonymous also, since you can't be there constantly. He needs to get control over this. Best wishes.