How can I get him back???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2004
How can I get him back???
5
Fri, 01-16-2004 - 5:35pm
I am not sure what to do, I met this guy the middle of November and we made our relationship official and a few days before New Years I was unable to get in contact with him, he had gotten a hotel room in town with a few of his friends and since I was unable to get ahold of him I automatically assumed that our relationship was over and on New Years my best friends cousin kissed me and I kissed him back and the only reason why I did was because I was alone on New Years eve and I really did think that me and my boyfriend were finished. He called me the day after and told me that he had lost his cell phone and I had just gotten a new cell phone number so my number was in his phone and he did not know my number that is why he did not call me. A few days later guilt got the best of me and I told him what happened on New Years Eve and he told me that he wanted a few days to think about us and then he told me that he wanted to end it because he did not feel like he could trust me. IS there any one that can give me any advice on how to convince him that I can be trusted and that I have never cheated on anyone before and that if I had of known that he still wanted to be with me then I would have not let that happen I am not like that and I really do care for him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Fri, 01-16-2004 - 6:00pm
Well you were wrong for jumping to conclusions like that, BUT he should have made a valiant effort to be with your on that Special Day. It is understandable to not want to be alone on New Year's Eve. How did he call you if he had lost your number?? If he had it somewhere, I think he should have left his gathering to go and find his girlfriend(you)

I would say that both of you were wrong. You have not been with him that long though. Do you think he is telling the truth? The reason I ask, is because I had a similar situation only I was the one who "lost my phone".

Just step back, he may feel that this is a bad start for both of you. My guess is he will put this behind him and move on, he just needs time. Hang tight and give him whatever space he requests.

Avatar for heatherjohnst
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sat, 01-17-2004 - 9:05pm
If he lost his phone and couldn't find your number, WHY ON EARTH DIDN'T HE JUST CONNECT WITH YOU IN PERSON!! Does he have a drivers liscense ? A car ? Directions to your home? What was stopping him from coming to see you? A 15,000 mile gap perhaps?! Sounds like a lame A$$ excuse to me. It sounds like he just had other plans that didn't include YOU. I mean.....come on!!

Another thougt ....... just because you don't connect with someone in T W O whole days doesn't equal a break up. Sounds like some hasty thinking on your part. I mean.....people do get busy, have jobs , friends and lives beyond their significant others you know. Can you really expect his life to "pause" until the next time you meet up? I'll bet that New Years kiss was out of spite, because you were mad at him.

I'm guessing you are young. (Under 20?) Because this whole situation you describe sounds very "High School". It also appears neither one of you are ready for a serious relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 01-18-2004 - 5:30am

yes i agree with this post. it sounds like you both made no effort to "find" each other. also - i don't understand, you had an "official" relationship and the ONLY way you could be in contact with each other was via cell phone? what about - regular phones, emails, work phones, friends, etc etc etc...


this just doesn't make sense.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2004
Tue, 01-20-2004 - 12:00am
You see I am 21 and maybe I really don't know that much about relationships, I have never been married but i was in one relationship for four years with the father of my son and he cheated on me many times and then I finally gave up and left. The next relationship I had was for two years and then I found out that he was smoking crank and I do not approve of that so I kicked him out of my house after he stole my car and sold my brand new VW bug convertable to a drug dealer for $40.00 i got it back so I was not out that much. The point I am trying to make by this is that I may not know everything that there is to know about relationships but I moved out of my parents house when I was 17 and had a child, I am raising him by myself, I pay $1,000 a month for my rent and pay my car payment. I do not get help from anyone do not have a roomate and do not get government money, so if you are trying to put me down in anyway or say that my age makes me inferior to you then you are wrong. And if you read my post you would see that he ahd a hotel room with his friends and I had no idea which room he was in. I am never at home so I do not have a need for a home phone my cell phone is all that I have and I understand that this may sound juvenille to everyone but I was not asking for rude remarks just some advice as to what I could do. I found this website one day and thought that I would put it on here to see if anyone had something to say that was different than my friends advice but like everyone else all that I hear is that he was probably lying the whole time. Thank you very much and if you do not like my post then why on earth did you respond.
Avatar for heatherjohnst
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Wed, 01-21-2004 - 8:10pm
When posting to a message board (Any message board!) And when asking for others advice, you get what you get. You can't expect someone elses take on your situation to directly mirror your own. It rarely happens that way. Everyone sees things differently. I believe most people use message boards , to get a different "view" of the situation. Because sometimes others see things you had never thought of. (And make perfect sense !) YOU ASKED FOR ADVICE !! YOU GOT ADVICE ! YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT YOU GOT.......BUT YOU ASKED FOR IT ! People are not always going to tell you something you want to hear ! That's life.

Also - reguardsless of age - reguardless of financial status - or where you have been in life - from what you wrote - my take on it is still that you and your ex were acting immiturly , making lame excuses , and not owning up to what was really going on. That is just my OPINION!! And you asked for it.

Heather