How can I get out of this?
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| Sun, 09-19-2004 - 11:19pm |
When i became pregnant he started to change. He started becoming very harsh with my girls. Now he treats our son like he is God's gift to mankind but my girls can do nothing right in his eyes. As soon as they come in the door from school he starts in on them for something that they didn't do right. He NEVER says anything remotely kind to them. You can look in their eyes and see the hurt that he is causing. I have tried over and over again to talk to him about this. We went to counseling and he decided everyone else was wrong and his way is right. The babysitter used to complain about how he talked to the girls when he picked them up. There was a friend of my aunts that saw him in the store with my kids and said he was being mean to them.
I continue to go to counseling without him. I am severely depressed. I am suffering from Fibromyalgia and Myofascial Pain syndrome and possibly MS. I want to leave so badly but don't know how I can care for 4 children on my own. Between the physical pain I am in and the fact that I have no income I don't know how I can do it.
We got into a huge argument the other night over this. He told me he was just their stepfather and it was not his responsibility to love the girls. But since this is his house he was going to make sure that they followed his rules. He ended up getting sloppy drunk which he has never done before. While drunk he tried to apologize and tell me how much he loved me. I guess I ruined the "moment" when I told him I would not conversate with a drunk because his breath smelled. The next morning he headed out the door with our son. I told him that I didn't feel that it was fair to be treated this way. He yelled at me in front of all the kids an told me not to talk to him. I haven't spoke to him since. Of course this argument really set off my pain!!
I just don't know what to do. I can't even go to the shelter here because of their rules. You are required to be working and attend certain meetings and such. With my health I cannot work and many days I just wouldn't be able physically to follow their schedule. I have no family that can help me. I feel stuck here. Some days I feel suicidal and my kids are the only thing that keep me going.
I would just appreciate your advice.

Pianoguy has noticed an "odd habit" that occurs with certain members of the male sex.
Many men will accept step children as their own UNTIL a biological son or daughter enters the picture...then the stepchildren are suddenly ignored, transferred to the back seat of the bus and basically...become unimportant. Is this fair? NO. Does this happen? SOMETIMES!
Since you're not working and have various health problems...there HAS to be at least ONE RESPONSIBLE FAMILY MEMBER (or a RELIABLE friend) who could "take you and the girls" into their home for a month or so? The separation between your girls and your husband might give him "more time to think and less time to drink!"
WARNING! You WILL have an issue with your husband and the boy...so prepare yourself! You better watch it if you're vocal about committing "SUICIDE"---since that word alone could be used against you! The last thing you want for your daughters is have them "placed in a foster home"...right? You NEED to be STRONG for THEM!
Whether you seek legal advice, or help from social services, explore any and all options before you "bail out?" GOOD LUCK!
Pianoguy
Also, check out this www.drinkvivo.com - the guy that invented it, his wife had Fibromyalgia.
Carrie