How can i learn to be more affectionate

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2007
How can i learn to be more affectionate
3
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 4:19am
My problem i have is that i'm not affectionate with my boyfriend when he is around. it sounds crazy but when hes not with me i miss him like crazy and i just want to have him next to me so i can hug him and kiss him and tell him how much i love him, yet when he is next to me, i cant express that and when i try to i feel too "lovey-dovey and clingy". i just feel almost too shy and embaressed to show affection to him, i can't look him in the eye and say " i love you" i want to so bad but i feel to "corney" almost, and i dont know how to overcome this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2007
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 10:45am
i have the exact same problem and i always act like a friend around him, i cant even call him my bf , i wanna see some of ur replies :0)
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 11:26am

It's important to learn how to express feelings in a balanced and healthy way. Both partners need to hear that they're loved and wanted. Perhaps feelings were not expressed in your home as you were growing up, or perhaps the idea of actually showing him that you care will make you feel too vulnerable. As I do not know you, I don't know exactly what the cause is. It might be a good idea to have a few sessions with a counselor to talk this over, so you can develop the personal freedom to be closer, express what you feel and help your partner feel good about themselves as well.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 1:45pm

Welcome to the board cutie_patutie54,


Have you read Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman?