How can I make him realise?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
How can I make him realise?
4
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 7:36am
A friend of mine told me this summer that he felt something more for me

over the past couple of months I've started to feel something for him too.

the deal with all this is

he has a girlfriend

they've had a rocky summer, and he's been hinting that he wants to break up with her. I'm not naive, so my view of it all has been to keep my feelings cool. but. things have come to some sort of stand off, as I tell him nothing will happen unless he breaks up with his girlfriend he says that if he would, I wouldn't want to have him.

he's convinced that I want him cause he's not on the market.

how can I convince him this isn't the case????

I keep telling him it's not. and it truly isn't, it makes me break inside that he isn't single.

anyone got any tips?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 9:38am
strength1....

Pianoguy thinks you're doing the right thing by "keeping things cool!"

While the gentleman may (or may not) be kicking around the idea of a 'split' from his g/f, the 2 of them are STILL together! And what guarantee do you have that he's going to be faithful to you if someone else comes along?

I might be mistaken, but this man seems to have a 'higher opinion of himself' than you do for him? Am I right?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 9:46am
actually, the thing is that I usually have pretty strong hunches about these things. so I think he's for real.

I serously need advise on what to tell him about that I'm not chasing him around cause he has a girflfriend. not opinions on whether he's a scum cause he's with his girl still.

Sure, it's not like I havn't wondered about whether I can trust him in the future. But this guy is my friend. he has not got a track record of stunts like this.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 10:18am

You are absolutely right and behaving in a very sensible and also ethical way. He must leave her because the relationship isn't working, not because he has someone else to run to. Otherwise, the blame for the break up will be with you. And it truly isn't your fault. Tell him to face the matter directly. If his relationship with her isn't working, he should be upright with her and himself and deal with that. Then he will be free to take other steps for his future. When a person hangs onto a relationship because they fear no one else will be there for them this shows immaturity and also some dishonesty with themselves and the other person.


Take good care and best wishes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 3:20pm
I totally agree with drshoshanna. He's looking for a replacement without being upfront and honest with his girlfriend about their relationship. Who cares if he thinks you only wnat him because he's 'taken' how taken is he if he's looking while still with her?


Carrie