How can I win her back

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2004
How can I win her back
8
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 11:49am
Last night me and my girlfriend broke up but not by my choice. she said that I have'nt been treating her right for over 2 years but I was to blind to see it until she started pointing things out to me. like for the longest time her son could get away with murder and she would't say anything so we would end up fighting over stupid things, and when I was mad I would say quite hurtfull things to her like I can't stand her son when he acts like this.

I also didn't do my share of the cleaning, I did some but not enough until the past week or 2 since she finally started pointing these things out to me, I love her so much I can't even begin to imagin what my life would be like with out her in it. she still wants me to be part of her sons life since I am pretty much the only dad he's ever known, and I will always be there for him, I want to do all the things that dads do with there kids. like teach him to ride a bike, take him to swiming lessons, base ball, every thing. I just want her to give me one more chance. I know that what I've done was wrong but now that I know what I was doing

I want to change I want to make them both as happy as they made me since we started dateing.

can some one please help me ?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 11:56am
The only way you can get her back is by showing her that you can be the man she needs in her life instead of just telling her. She's given you an opening to still be involved with her son, so start there. Take him out and do all those "dad" things you mentioned. Invite them both out for lunch, or better yet, invite them to your place for dinner. Make sure the house is cleaned and dishes are washed. Show her that you appreciate her presence by showing you can be helpful and clean up too. Start showing her all over again how much you love her without pressuring her to get back into the relationship. If she still cares about you, seeing the changes you've made and the effort you're going through to meet her needs may be enough for her to give you a second chance. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2004
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 12:27pm
Thanx for your idea I am going to try it but it's going to be so hard to see her and not be able to hold her or kiss her. Bu like you said if she does really care she'll see how much I love her and give me another chance. I just hope it's not to late.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 12:38pm
I acn't stress this enough...even though you may want to hug or kiss her, HOLD OFF until she sends you CLEAR signs that she is ready for that. Otherwise, your innocent attempt to show her that you've changed or are willing to change will come off as a trick to get in good with her. She'll think you used her son to manipulate her into getting back (or back into bed) with you. It's going to be hard but you have to move slowly and reassure her that you value her feelings and her opinion, and just value her in general.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2004
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 1:07pm
I'm just afraid that I'm going to loose her for good since she already told me she has feelings for some one else but she also said because he's a "coke head" she doesn't want him around her son
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 1:19pm
If she has developed feelings for someone else, no matter what you do, she'll leave if the other guy is who she'd rather be with. You can't compete with someone else for her affections. People can't be manipulated that way. But you already know she has some reservations about him. Just show her how good of a man you can be to her without dwelling on the other man. If she's a good mom (and I'm assuming she is) her ultimate decision will be what is best for her and her son. You already have a step up in this area since the other guy's a drug addict. So make sure you show her that you're as good for her as she thinks you are for her son.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2004
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 1:39pm
Thanx again for takeing the time to talk to me about my problemes. I just feel so alone and abandond. even though she still say's she loves me and that if we were ment to be then we will but I can't stand the thought of looseing my best friend because I'm such an idiot.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 2:41pm
First of all! THINK you before you react with hurtful words, b/c once said, you cannot take them back. You needed to sit down with her & tell her that if you two were to be living together (??) you want to help her with herson and that means helping with correcting him if need be. Don't ever say hurtful things that you will regret. Maybe her son is feeling "Left out" and is acting on agressive behavior. I would call her & ask her to meet w/ you and tell her how you really feel
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2004
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 5:49pm
I have nothing but regrets from things I could have done differnetly, like actually tell her son I love him, and spend more time at the park with him and takeing him to his swimming lessons,learneing how to communicate with out loosing my temper. I know I could make the differance now if she would only give me the chance.

But my head keeps telling me thats it's over and she's not going to take me back but my heart keeps telling me to keep with it that all this pain will be worth it if she does take me back.