How can I win him back
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How can I win him back
| Wed, 02-04-2004 - 5:54pm |
My boyfriend of 5 1/2 years recently broke up with me. He was actually on his way to the jewelery store to buy my engagement ring when he decided that he no longer loved me. He still calls me all the time and when I ask about a future for us, he says I should keep the door open. He has recently starting seeing someone else and they appear to be inseprable. How can I win him back. I have a feeling that he still does love me and just got scared of the committment. He means very very much to me and I don't want to let him go. Please help

Aren't you worth more than that?
Carrie
You will also realize that you can't be with someone who doesn't want to be with you regardless of whether he left because of fear or lack of love. He is with someone else now. Even if you get back together with him how will you trust that he won't pull this again even after the wedding?
Take care.
The love of my life left me 9 days ago. Pretty rough going since then.
All I can suggest to you right now, as simple as it might seem, is spend alot of time on this site. You will read about all sorts of hurt. Alot of it comes from married people who are going through all sorts of pain. I would hate to see you back on here AFTER the wedding. Its terribly terribly difficult to make a decision. I know.
My ex (first time I call him that :-( , is a commitment phobic. He adores me. I know that. And there is no other woman involved. However, the fact remains, he's a commitment phobic. And until he takes the time required to search within himself, maybe with some help, he will continue in this same pattern. Your guy sounds like he might be experiencing a little bit of the same. He's maybe realizing that tying the knott is "it". The end rather than a new beginning. No one can really know what is going on inside a guys mind at a time like this. All I would suggest is let him be. Don't chase him. Don't email him. Don't call him. How can he miss you if you're always there? Give up the idea of "winning him back" or "making it work". It just doesn't work that way. All you can do now is let the relationship go and run its course. Wouldn't you rather know he comes back on his own and not because of pressure? Let him do his own thinking, don't do it for him.Don't remind him of the wonderful times ect ect. You want HIM to do his own therapy and thinking. Anything other than that, is destined for doom in my opinion.
What I did with my guy, after talking to my therapist, (although she didn't fully support it she did guide me), I simply sent him a note that suggested that"if ever he felt that us being apart was a mistake, to contact me..otherwsie...wish him well.
Good luck
Claire.