How could a girl u once loved get u back

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
How could a girl u once loved get u back
5
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 8:01am
Me and my ex dated for almost 2 years; he broke my virginity and everything. We were dating on and off, mostly on and never off for more than one month. Then we broke up for good, but we were still "talking" and having sex. Then i got a boyfriend, which hurt his feelings. He told me he still loved me and i was so shocked, i didnt say nothin so he thought that i didnt love him no more. Then he got a girlfriend, which was his long time ago ex. I was heartbroken. Now, he seems to be more into her than he ever was into me. And it hurts. But, he cheats on her with me; we still have sex (she's a virgin). I sort of feel like he is using me because any other time he almosts ignores me.I was wondering...what are the chances of a man falling in love with a woman and staying in love with her (still having feelings)...even if he is with someone else he REALLY likes. And Ive tried to make him jealous...it didnt work (i dont think)...What can i do to get him back???? we are both 18 years old, so something for young folks, lol. I need him back (jealousy might work..he's kinda sensitive, lol)...thanks

Allyss

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 1:19pm
Hon, this guy has a girlfriend. That means UNAVAILABLE. Where is your self-respect. You can't love him enough, give him enough sex to get him back. It doesn't work that way.

He's got a virgin girlfriend, cheating on her by being with you. That means he's using you for sex ONLY. Not to mention that he's a liar, cheater, dishonest, no integrity... and you want him? What are you thinkin'?


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 2:34pm
First of all you both are users and at 18 years old seems to me that you both need to grow up and get your priorities straight! Jealousy will get you nothing. Tricks and games hurt and are childish. It will make him resent you in the long run. I'm 22 and this is something I learned a long time ago. I think you both need to do some serious growing up before you seek a serious relationship. Think about it. He tells you he loves you and he tells her he loves her. If you were to trick him into dumping her and going back with you what makes you think he'll stay true to you? Also he knows your a cheater too (you cheated on your bf w/him). What says he can trust you? See what I mean by childish? He's OBVIOUSLY playing mind games with you and your wanting to retalliate by playing games with him! All to get what you want-childish and selfish. I don't think either of you care about anyone but yourselves. Don't you care that what your wanting to do will hurt his gf terribly? Why didn't he care that ya'll were hurting your bf? I'm sorry to sound so mean and I'm usually not like this but what you said was CRAZY! Can't you step back and look at what you wrote and see for yourself how it seems? Maybe you should try.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 7:15pm
ur not getting it...i dont have a boyfriend any more...he still has his girl friend though. Im saying...do u think he still really has feelings for me since we dated for so long? He tries to act like he doesnt, so i dont know..but i know that males tend to act like they dont care when they really do...

Allyss

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 7:23pm
i guess i just felt that it was ok for us to mess around (even though he had a girl)because we been together for so long, and that he still wanted to be with me...And when we dated, he never cheated on me...i know, we have mutual friends. I just love him so much..and when ur in love with someone, u do some crazy things. And its like...i dont care if he's with her, as long as i have him too. And somethings goin on because at first when i told him how i felt about him, he said he couldnt tell me how he felt cause he had a girl, but it was something good, he said..and he didnt wanna really talk to me...All of a sudden, they broke up and we had sex, then they hooked back up and he asked me to do it again cause he missed it. Thats how it got started. Im crazy in love, lol.

Allyss

Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 7:45pm
He said he missed "it", not that he missed "you". He's using you. You deserve better. Please do something to improve your self esteem. Tell him it's all or nothing and I bet you get nothing. That should tell you something. That should tell you that he wants the sex but he doesn't want you for a relationship. He is hurting you and you are hurting yourself by continuing to settle for crumbs. Please please talk to your family members, counselor or friends about how they can help you get past this. You deserve MUCH MUCH better than what this guy is offering.