;How Could This Have Happened.. But What Happened?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
;How Could This Have Happened.. But What Happened?
12
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 2:42pm

Hello-

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

Seriously this guy is not relationship material--first of all a mentally healthy person doesn't feel the need to "isolate" himself from everybody for a month.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006

Thank you Music Lover.. Should i feel guilty though for saying what i said in the heat of it.. i could do much better.. i dont hurt people with words i feel so badly about doing that but moreso why would he be behaving in my opinion so childishly at 42 YRS

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009

I find it interesting when people ask "should I feel guilty" - No, of course not. Guilt is not a constructive emotion. You get nothing out of feeling guilty, and you don't have to feel guilty for getting emotional. He dropped you suddenly, and you chased after him which is never a wise thing to do, but instead of dwelling on WHY or "should I feel this or that" your focus should be forward, moving on.

"why would he be behaving in my opinion so childishly at 42 YRS

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006

Hello, thank you i do understand... BUT why would he hang up and NOT hear my feelings out completely i totally labored it to death and did leave countless msgs getting rather p off REALLY because i felt used with him asking for phone .sex the night before exchanging pictures of ourselves.. him telling me if i dont send it successfully i wont pick up the phone and he didnt..

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2011
katherinez2006 wrote:

he has so much potential and has someone who really really cares about him and he knows that

am i assuming it is over but maybe not? I guess i cannot be the one to ask for his response on anything anymore he has to come bck to me..

NO, no he doesn't have so much potential.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
You CAN do better. Find someone that is not 6 months sober at 42 years of age. Or that disappears for weeks. And then only contacts you cause he wants to get off sexually.

Recovering alcoholics actively working AA are encouraged not to engage in an intimate relationship for at least one year. For a reason.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011

When someone shows you who they are believe them. Don't go over and over in your mind what went wrong and calling and calling this person who is not worth your time. When you behave the way you have been it makes you appear to be desperate and that is something you never want to appear to a man. It gives them the green light to continue to treat you like crap.

You thought you two had something special and it is not easy finding out your were wrong, but once you find out you were mistaken, take it as a lesson learned and keep it moving.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009

As everyone else is trying to get you to understand.....the man is an alcoholic!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2002

Katherine, you posted about this man on the Alcohol, Addictions & Recovery message board and were told pretty much the same thing there


 


"OMG, I got engaged, the world will never be the same!...."


&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
I hate to be so blunt, but you are nothing but a booty call to this man. He talks to you when it's convenient for him, and thats usually when he's ready to get his rocks off. The more you call the more you will be treated this way. He has without words told you he isn't interested in you anymore than someone to fill his sexual needs. If a man truly wants someone, he will stop at nothing to pursue them. Please stop contacting him and move on, he isn't worth your time.

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