How to deal???
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| Thu, 11-15-2007 - 7:05am |
So basically my b/f is angry with me. We have been together for about 4 years (we started living together this year). Recently (about 6 mths or so) I have been getting mad about little things or when I do have something to be mad at, I dont use the best words to describe how I am feeling and I sometimes hurt his feelings.
I got into a disagreement with him a month ago and since then he has been staying at his friends house. He has not come home for any of his belongings, and EVERYTHING is at our place.
He has talked to my uncle a couple of times and they talked last night about what he planned on doing since he has been gone a month. He told my uncle that "he didnt know what he had been through and that I was using my uncle to manipulate him and I make lots of money" (i suppose that was in reference to me being able to pay the bills since he hasnt come home). Well I got fired from my job so I do need his help financially. I think he doesnt believe that I got fired.
I have actually been going to therapy twice a week for the past month, b/c I really dont want to act that way. Its not that I get all angry and yell and throw things, sometimes its just better to let things go.
at my last job, i made more money than he did which is why he must think that i am rolling in the dough even though i was fired. well i have been paying the bills since he left and now i have no more checks coming in so that is definitely not the case.
the craziest part is that i was always iffy about the apt we chose b/c i thought it was a little out of our price range, but he assured me that it was the right choice cause it was in a good area and it was a nice place, and hey i assumed we would be splitting everything so why really worry. now i am stuck in a place i cant afford b/c i am not working and he doesn't want to give me anything, which makes absolutely no sense when at least the last time we talked (one month ago), he said i could have his paycheck to pay for some stuff, and i had my job at that time. i left the exact paycheck he said he would give to me at his friends house b/c i hang out with his g/f and i knew the friend would see him. i left it there in hopes he would sign it and deposit the money in my account. that was a week ago and still nothing.
our lease states that we cannot sublease the place to anyone, which really sucks.
I am shocked cause I really did not think he was this mad and to me. if you are done with me then why is all of your stuff still here? Wouldnt you want to move on 100%?
I just think that if a person is done with a relationship or situation then be done with it. He is making the sacrifice by not having any of his belongings, which is his choice. I know I couldnt do that. I am just shocked cause I really didnt think it would go down like this.

Welcome to the board tiffy4269,
If the lease for the apartment is in both of your names, than both of you are responsible for paying the rent. If you were evicted, they would come after both of you. Plus if the bills are in both names then both of you are responsible. You need to call him and address these issues with him and also tell him you need to know what to do with his things.
glitter-graphics.com
Welcome to the board tiffy4269,
I find it odd that he's confiding in your uncle...almost like he's trying to get your uncle on 'his side' and that's manipulation.
Anyway, what else does the lease say?
i guess he just has always liked my uncle and maybe he knew that w/e he said to him would get back to me. although yesterday their convo was so so b/c he told my uncle that "he doesnt know what i put him through and that my uncle couldnt understand his point of view since he is a family member" he also said that i was using my uncle to manipulate him. i guess cause my uncle had asked what he planned on doing and had mentioned something about bills.
i left today to come home to visit my family for the week. i couldnt spend another night at our place. at any rate, he should still talk to me.