How to deal with a controlling hubby?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2005
How to deal with a controlling hubby?
3
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 10:31am
So my husband handles the majority of our finances and does a great job with it. I am a stay at home mom of 2 small children and work very hard in the home. My husband does most of the shopping for the family too as he feels he finds good deals, spends money wiser, etc. Anyway yesterday he went grocery shopping for the week without getting my input. So I told him that was ok I'll just swing by the store and grab a couple things I wanted for dinners next week. I spent $25 at the store...trust me, we can afford to spend $25 extra. Well, I basically got chewed out when I got home; him telling me that we didn't need half of the stuff, I spend money like crazy (which I don't...never do hardly b/c he controls the budget; I get about $400/month of spending money for whatever I personally want which gives me some financial freedom; but then we have a joint account for groceries, family needs, etc which I hardly ever touch b/c he does most of it). Of course the argument then led to how he does SO MUCH more around the house (which again, he doesn't...I am the housekeeper, daycare provider, cook, errand runner ,etc). I am basically thinking he is an insensitive controlling idiot today and I told him so. How do you deal with men like this??
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 3:47pm

Welcome to the board keliko,


It does sound like your husband is pretty controlling. Would he be willing to do to marriage counseling with you? Is it just money that he is controlling with?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 3:48pm

Welcome to the board keliko,


Wow, that fight esculated rather quickly into other things. My guess is your husband feels unappreciated for being the breadwinner and doing it all in his eyes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2007
Sun, 06-24-2007 - 1:00pm
i really agree with carrie she has been there for me the past couple of days for my relationship problems and i seriously look to her as a mother she has opend my eyes alot but just talk to him camly without raising your voice cause to tell you the truth my now ex fiance was VERY controlling like what he said was the final word no ands if or buts...because i was in the situation you are in he went to work brought home the money and kept track of everything as i stay'd home did his laundry made sure he has his coffee when he woke up lunch packed for work dinner done when he walked in the door everything he wanted he got..we don't have any children...but i never felt appriciated for the things i have done and i didn't bring it up to him until after we were slpit up the best thing to do is just put it all out there... hope this helps a little bit hugs -jenn


Edited 6/24/2007 1:07 pm ET by browneyedbabi