How to deal with a scrooge?

Avatar for ivlolo29
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2003
How to deal with a scrooge?
6
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 1:16pm

My husband does not like the holidays for many reasons he says.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 1:21pm
I know this doesn't really help you very much. But if I were you I'd decorate the house with gloomy halloween stuff instead. Enjoy, Mr Scrooge.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 1:38pm

Welcome to the board ivlolo29,


Has he ever wonder what started his hate of this time of year?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 3:48pm

I can totally understand why you'd want the holidays to be special for your daughter.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 4:31pm

My husband also hates Christmas, partly because he spent many years in retail, and this is their BIG season, and partly because that's just the way he is.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 5:33pm

Gloomy outlook, indeed!

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Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 3:33pm

You are absolutely right to let him know that if he doesn't like the holidays that's his privilege, but it's not at all fair for him to spoil it for you and your daughter. If he wants to vent, let him vent to his friends, or someone who agrees with him. His venting does cast a pall upon your happiness and it's not fair to you. There's a time and place to express upset. This is not the time, or the place.


If this upsets him too, the best place to vent is to a therapist, who can help him work out these deep feelings of distress. Perhaps he is harboring painful memories from childhood of the holiday season? Perhaps he went through lots of disappointment then? He may not be fully aware himself of what is causing this to happen year after year. It wouldn't be a bad idea for him to talk to someone professional about it and get a larger view. Then, possibly, he might even be able to let all this go, relax and have a good time with you and your child.


Best wishes,