How to deal w/ spouse's unemployment??
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How to deal w/ spouse's unemployment??
| Wed, 04-07-2004 - 8:35pm |
Hi all!! I have been married a year and a half. My hubby has been unemployed for 2 months and the last few jobs before getting laid off were horrible and it has grealty affected our lives, credit etc. I work full time and fortunatley I have been employed with my company for over 5 years. I have truely been a supportive wife in this situation, however lately I just cant take it anymore.........I am so stressed and its really starting to affect the way I view my hubby.
The part that is really getting to me is the resentment I am starting to feel towards hubby. He has been actively looking and has been to several interviews and nothing is panning out. He is trying to get out of sales and into something that could turn into a career. He could get a job just anywhere...fast food, etc, its just that we are use to a certian income and have to make a certain amount of money each month. Dont get me wrong we have really downsized, sold the house, given up things we enjoy and just about everything we cant pay. I just feel a lot of resentment because Im the one getting up early in the morning, working all day and coming home to clean, cook, and all the other stuff. Every morning that I get up and he is still in bed, getting to sleep in, really irratates me and gets me upset the whole day. I try to talk about it with him and he starts making me feel bad that I even say anything to him about being unemployed. I understand that he is super stressed and is feeling inadequate, however he will not try to understand being in my shoes. I am fairly young and this is a lot for me to deal with.
The part that is really getting to me is the resentment I am starting to feel towards hubby. He has been actively looking and has been to several interviews and nothing is panning out. He is trying to get out of sales and into something that could turn into a career. He could get a job just anywhere...fast food, etc, its just that we are use to a certian income and have to make a certain amount of money each month. Dont get me wrong we have really downsized, sold the house, given up things we enjoy and just about everything we cant pay. I just feel a lot of resentment because Im the one getting up early in the morning, working all day and coming home to clean, cook, and all the other stuff. Every morning that I get up and he is still in bed, getting to sleep in, really irratates me and gets me upset the whole day. I try to talk about it with him and he starts making me feel bad that I even say anything to him about being unemployed. I understand that he is super stressed and is feeling inadequate, however he will not try to understand being in my shoes. I am fairly young and this is a lot for me to deal with.
Anyone who has been in a similar situation and could share how you coped with it please let me know. I needed to vent and that helped a little, I just need some advice before we really start not talking and I end up saying something that I will regret!! Any advice would be greatly appreciated :)

Unfortunately, I have been in a similar situation with my fiance...a little over a year ago, he lost his job- actually 3 in a matter of a year....
There were days that i thought I just couldnt do it, I had no more support left in me to give him, I was even contimplating ending the relationship ( my fiance of 3 years!!) Then, it hit me. What if this was me?What if i was going through this and had no job and none in the near future? Would I want him to give up on me?To stop loving me, supporting me?Absolutley not.
In fact, he needs you more now than ever... Yo need be upfront with him about your feelings and your growing resentment towards the situation.It doesnt mean you dont love him, but hate the fact that he isnt giving it his all. Marriage counseling wouldnt be a bad idea either...do u have insurance?
Bottomline...dont give up...he loves you, you love him..dont lose sight of whats important.
Best of luck,
We have a planned a nice weekend for easter since we will be alone together. We are going to go out to a club on friday night and then drive to the beach on saturday and just have a little picknick and lay on a blanket and enjoy ourselves. Going to the beach is something we used to at least once a month. All it costs is a gas tank and some sandwhichs and we always have a blast!
Thanks again for sharing your story with me. I hope it gets better for you and your wife too! I think it is so great that you became a teacher and are able to do what you always wanted to do! I have wanted to be a teacher for a long time and Ive been really considering going back to shcool. :)