How do I deal with this?
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How do I deal with this?
| Thu, 09-06-2007 - 2:08pm |
Shortly after I turned 18 my brother introduced me to someone he knew but wouldn't consider a friend. His name was Jayme and his reputation was one that wassn't exactly ideal. I guess I can admit that I knew hanging out with a heroin addict wassn't a smart decision but I knew from my own personal experiance that basing a first impression on mistakes one has made doesn't make for an accurate profile. I started hanging out with him and eventually everyday we would be together. After my brother was sent to jail he even moved in with my mother and I. He bought me anything and everything I wanted and treated me like a queen. I started to care for him deeply as he claimed he did for me. We both knew what he was doing drugs but I cared so much about him that my Mom put up with it. I had done heroin before but not since then and at one point i asked him for it and we started do it together. This lasted a short time before he was arrested for warrants. Mine you he had been in and out of jail the entire time I knew him. The whole time he was in jail I wrote him and he wrote back. I would wait at home for his phone calls and tell him how I couldn't wait until he got out. Every letter and phone call I would tell him how I was done with heroin aqnd how I hoped he would be too. He swore up and down he would behave. Shortly before he was released the letters stopped comming and so did the phone calls. He's been out of jail for almost a month now and he has succeeded in sleeping with a girl that used to be close to me and making me feel horrible and confused. When i do occasionaly talk to him I ask him why the sudden change and he tells me theres nothing wrong and then points out the fact that if there was something wrong he wouldn't have showed up at my door to spend time with me but then again he can't answer the phone when I call and ignores me when he sees me infront of other people however, he hassn't relapsed back into heroin yet. I'm absolutly lost and I don't want to deal with this but I feel for him on many deep levels as he claims he still does for me. I still hope that he will just call me up one day and atleast tell me what it is that he wants. So should I continue to wait or tell him that I'm not going to be conveiniant for him anymore.

Welcome to the board completelylost2007,
Here's an iVillage board that you might find helpful: Codependents & Love Addicts
Only you know how long you are willing to wait around for him... Sorry you are going through this.
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