How do I fall in love with my husband again?

Avatar for love.actually
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2005
How do I fall in love with my husband again?
Thu, 02-27-2014 - 3:53pm

We've had a rough few years, financially and mentally. I've definitely had my views skewed and while I don't hate him, I feel like we've gotten so far off the path that we're now just roommates. 

Is it possible to reclaim what we once had? We've been together for 18 years. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2013

Being in love is a choice. You choose to love, you have the choice to end loving or find ways to stay in love. The fact that you are asking how you can fall for your husband again is a good sign that you choose to stay in love. To answer your question, the most important thing about rekindling a relationship is finding a way to reminisce how you were befoe in your blissful days. Going out on date, can also be a good opportunity to reconnect. Make sure you go out with only the two of you around, no kids. This will give you time to enjoy each other's company, reconnect and reminisce how you were before. Second tip is find time to laugh together, whether it is watching a movie, or doing a certain kind of sport that willenable you to share jokes..the choices are many.. you just have to be creative. 

The third advice I can give is be reconnected in bed. This will be quite easy, once you have done numbers one and two. Goodluck., stay in love by making the effort. :-)

Go on, you owe it to yourself to give it one last shot. Make it count.

Rekindlle the love in your relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Fri, 02-28-2014 - 11:08am

No offense, but yours is one of most 'self-help' book responses I've come accross here on village.

Number 1, the original post is waaaaaaay too brief and doesn't give us anywhere near enough info to give the poster any kind of advice.

Number 2, you can't be serious when you say that being in love is a choice. Wanting and trying to STAY in LTR kind of love is a choice.

Number 3, movie, date, and bed? Really? After 18  years?

To the  OP: tell us more. What happened? What is happening now? What do you mean when you say 'tough few years'? Who has done what to hurt the other? You don't really truly ever fall in love agian in a LTR. You sort of look at him, you, him and you and think, wow,  I'd better start appreciating what we have together. Then you get drunk together and have a great night and next day it all goes back to 'same old same old' but you've given your feelings a kind  of..'airing'.

There IS the 'in love' of 10+years. It's nothing like the madness of the first few months though. Trying to recreate THAT feeling is pointless. Why do you think people have affairs?

I've been with my (beloved, fancied, wanted etc etc) dh for 10 years so can be trusted..

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2014

Absolutely it's possible. I also have been married for 18 yrs. It wasn't until the last 5yrs that I have actually truly been inlove with my husband and that I love him more than anything.  Pray alot and if your willing it will come around..

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2006

*Pray alot and if your willing it will come around..*

No offence but, haaaahahahahahaha, yeah, right.