How do I fix this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
How do I fix this?
3
Sun, 01-04-2004 - 1:59am
I am twenty-one and I have been dating my boyfriend for two years. We've been living together for about six months. We have had our problems, but for the most part our relationship has been wonderful. However, about a month ago I started gettting irrationally jealous when he would talk to other women. It got to the point that he couldn't even mention a girl without me freaking out. On new years eve we went out with a couple friends and I got so upset that he was talking to other girls at the other end of the bar that I cried and caused a scene. The next morning I woke up and realized that my jealousy was out of control and I was going to take steps to control it from then on. The problem is, he is still really mad about the way I have been for the last month and is actually having doubts about whether or not he wants to be with me or not. I try to talk to him about it but he's becoming more and more distant. I don't know what to do. How can I help him get over the anger he has toward me for being irrational for so long?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Sun, 01-04-2004 - 4:17pm
Show him that you are taking steps to overcome your jealousy.

Did you get to the heart of why this came on so strong? Are you going to therapy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Sun, 01-04-2004 - 6:35pm
Thank you for replying to my message. In answer to your question, no I'm not in therapy at this point. However, I have been thinking about getting it. I really have no idea why it came on so strong. I think I was as suprised as my boyfriend was about it.

Also, he's been doing alot more activities with his single friends and taking more interest in girls lately. Do you think this is a reaction to the way i treated him? And how should I deal with it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Mon, 01-05-2004 - 2:04am
Could the reason for your jealousy be that he is talking to a lot of girls and not paying any attention to you in social situations and you're mad about it? Or did the problem just happen out of the blue? Jealousy can scare a guy away, especially if there are many instances of unfounded jealousy. I would wait a few days and then discuss the situation with him when you have both had a chance to cool down.