How do i get him back?
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How do i get him back?
| Mon, 08-04-2008 - 6:29pm |
Hello Everyone,
Ive been writing on here the past few weeks, and I appreciate everyones advice on my situation with my ex. Although I only dated him for a short period of time, i still cant seem to let him go. I have been really good with the "NO CONTACT" and I read the zen of doing nothing which i found helpful....but I still cant seem to let him go. Last

If I had to guess... I would say that he's probably feeling the same as you. Not quite over the relationship ending, and missing you. That's natural. Men and women often act surprisingly similarly.
"he thinks that im too needy and that Im controlling, and all i want to show him is that im really not"
The only way to do this, and to really make him see it long term, is to focus on NOT BEING a needy or controlling person. Do YOU feel that these are things you should work on? Not because he told you to, but because you believe it? Then work on them. Pick up some books (Are You The One For Me? By Barbara DeAngelis is an eye-opener for relationships). Give him space. Don't respond to him at all. If he really wants you back he'll fish with more than breadcrumbs.
Hi melimel1883,
How are things going for you?
Right now I think you are basically on the right track. If he loves you, misses you and truly wants you, he will reach out for you. If not, he's not someone you want anyway. The best thing to do now is not only to be independent (as you are being), but to move forward in your own life and stop hoping that things will work out with him. Get involved with activities you really enjoy. Surround yourself with friends, and new acquaintances. Find ways in which you can make your life full and happy. Date, have fun. Don't hang around waiting for him. It's not good for you, and somehow he can feel it too.... The plain fact is that when a person really wants you, he stays in touch. So, move forward and find those you enjoy being with who also enjoy and value you.
Best wishes,
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