How do I get my DH to stand up?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2004
How do I get my DH to stand up?
2
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 5:28pm
My DH cannot stand up to his mother. She is very controlling. My DH often does not understand why it bothers me.

This has to be the question of all times, because it happens so often. My DH and I are expecting. I don't want my life controlled my MIL, I want to be able to make our own lives.

Can I get my DH to stand up to his mother or am I going to just have to bite the bullet and be what she would consider a bad DIL?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 5:34pm
This is silly.....he never did stand up to his mother...he probably always did whatever she wanted or expected, at least in front of her face.

He might have gotten with you so that YOU could be the sheild between him and his mother and the rest of the world that he doesn't want to "stand up to and confront and deal with".

But basically, you can stand up and scream at his mother all you want - but if he's going to follow her rules behind your back - you can save yourself the trouble and negativity.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 5:43pm
roseann1st2001....

If your DH is CLOSER TO HIS MOM...THAN HE IS TO YOU...you've either got to 'let Mom have his attention' and bail out of the marriage.......or act like a big girl and try to make the best of an uncomfortable situation! Granted---being "in the family way" certainly doesn't help matters any....

BUT....

You are putting your DH in an awkward position. What man wants to choose between his biological mother...and the mother of his future child? !

What has Pianoguy curious is this?

Are you gonna prohibit M.I.L. from seeing her grandson or granddaughter after he or she is born? Or will you eventually accept her presence...along with "grandma "advice" she may pass along to her grandchild?

If not...you better line up a divorce and child custody lawyer TODAY because your situation will become even messier than it already is!

Pianoguy