How do I handle this information?
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| Wed, 08-06-2008 - 12:15pm |
I have a sticky situation that I never meant to get into. I was out a few nights ago with several ppl, including my best friend and her boyfriend. I needed to borrow a cell phone and the bf loaned me his. I moved away from the crowd so I could complete my call in privacy, and while I was talking, a text message came in. I hit the button to "read later" and continued my call. When I ended the call, somehow the text message box popped up (not sure what i hit, it was an unfamiliar phone) and a text from several days ago popped up. The jist of it was that this guy had just gotten himself a joint and was getting high with a friend.
My girlfriend has NO idea he is doing this, nor would she approve. Without doubt he is hiding this from her and I dont know if this is a frequent thing he does or not. This particular day was a weekday, around 4 pm after work. To me, that is a little more than the recreational partying on a Sat night. This information would destroy their relationship.
Now what? I am stuck. Cant really tell her because she and he will think I snooped thru his phone- which I did not. At the same time, I feel soooo badly for her becasue she truly has no idea. I brought up the subject of marijuana the other day and slowly turned it to whether he does that and her response was "He does not do that stuff"
Any suggestions on how to live with this information? I dont want to be the one to ruin a great relationship and this is the only proof i have.

You could tell him what you saw and ask him about it.
I thought about approaching him but I am afraid of two things- one that he will think I went thru his text messages and invaded his privacy. I know I would suspect that if it happened to me. Secondly, I am afraid he will run to her and tell her that I did this, and that I am blowing something out of proportion and not to beleive anything I say. I dont know him THAT well, but something tells me I will come out looking like the bad guy if I open my mouth
I guess I have to hope that somehow she finds out, but since they go to separate colleges I doubt that will happen. I feel so guilty haveing this knowledge and sitting back knowing it would be a deal breaker for her. Wondering if she really knows him?
One thing that stuck out at me is that you said the girl was your "best friend".
My best friends and I are extremely close.