How do I tell my ex the truth?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2008
How do I tell my ex the truth?
10
Sat, 08-16-2008 - 7:57pm
So here's me story bare with the length, but details help right? So
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Sat, 08-16-2008 - 10:04pm

I am not sure what to tell you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 08-16-2008 - 10:59pm

Welcome to the board minlovesu,


If you want to help with the guilt, send him a short message, telling him that you were diagnosed with depression and that he was not the cause of your depression.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Mon, 08-18-2008 - 10:59am

(the whole I feel unappricated thing, I accused him of cheating, didn't trust him. Basically I was paranoid he didn't love me, and I told him that)


I've been posting lots of pictures and commenting all the time on them, something he would get updates about. And theyre always pictures of me out in the clubs, with other guys sumtimes. People are saying he only deleted me now, after 2 months, because it was hard for him to see all those pictures, especially one of me and another ex of mine (complete and utter drunken mistake).


After telling him that he didn't make you happy, that you thought he was cheating and didn't trust him, you felt unappreciated, you now profess to want to try to work things out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 08-18-2008 - 12:52pm

I agree with itwinflame. First and foremost you should be able to forgive yourself; forgiveness doesn't depend on your ex, neither does closure. If you do tell him, you will have to prepare for a nasty response (bad) or no response at all (worse). So you will probably not get your intended result. I doubt he will be sympathetic to you now, when he has absolutely no obligation to be nice, and after he called you names. The knowledge may even reinforce his name-calling.

It may be the most difficult answer to pursue, but I think leaving him alone and finding the strength to move on is the best choice for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2008
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 2:22pm

Well first of all, thank you all for taking the time to reply.

I havent really been home for the past few days, I took a little vacation to my cottage to sort things out in my mind. In saying that, today was the first day I read any of your posts, and Ive already come to the conclusion that Im going to let all of this go. Im done caring what he thinks, I want only to respect his wishes and for him to be happy. And if that means never hearning from me again, then so be it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 2:29pm
How was anyone here at ALL harsh to you? All you received were supportive comments.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2008
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 2:37pm

Perhaps harsh was not the best word to describe what I meant. I mearly meant that what I read was not what I wanted to hear, but instead what

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 7:43pm

Okay I accept that. You just seemed very defensive to me and I don't want you to think that anyone is being intentionally mean... we all want the best from people who post here and want to see good things happen to you, even if the best thing isn't always the easiest (unfortunately it's usually not!)

Best of luck, minlovesu

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2008
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 8:29pm
Truely sorry if I came across that way, I wasnt really in the best mood at the time. But I do thank each one of you for taking the time to read what I wrote and respond with advice, very thought to take time out to help a stranger. Its just difficult for me to accept that things are over whether I like it or not, but now I see thanks to advice from everyone here and my friends and family, that moving on is best for both of us. It will save me more heartache and my ex will be happier without me popping into his life with all my drama. So thanks a bunch again everyone, youve all really opened my eyes, and sorry again for coming off as
Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 3:29pm

fwiw, you should know that MANY of us who are (or were) considered "regulars", are here because we've "been there, done that".