How Do I Trust Him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2007
How Do I Trust Him?
4
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 3:27pm

Hi Everyone,


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 5:25pm

Welcome to the board day_dreamz,


Why does he still live with his parents 33. Of course his siblings want him out of the house. I would too.


Second, I could never ever be with someone that stole from

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2002
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 10:05pm

Oh boy.


 


"OMG, I got engaged, the world will never be the same!...."


&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 10:17pm

'His parents decided that I should handle his finances.'


Don't you think that puts you in a weird position, like the position of his parent? Of course they want to help him but this is rediculous. I can see why you can't trust him. Do you want to marry someone who can't save money and who can easily steal from his parents (o.k. maybe it didn't come easily but still). He is 33 and still at home? And the dynamic of his parents asking you for advice is too dysfunctional. Add to that all of the lying and do you think this relationship can ever be healthy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2005
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 11:39pm

Your BF has a problem and needs some serious help. He stole from his own mother! That's incredible!

I can not imagine why a 33 yr. old is still living at home. I guess in his case its likely a financial issue. Is he working now? If so, couldn't he have just worked out a payment plan to pay back his debt. The amount of debt he has is not outrageous and I'm surprised he felt the need to steal to pay it back!

I would worry about what you are getting involved with. If you move in together down the road and he needs $$ (and I'm sure there will be a day it happens) where will he get it? Will he steal from you? Sell the car? Pawn the TV? Who knows. He seems to do drastic things. More than likely he will drag your credit through the mud too.

Is he dependent on his parents? Will he become dependent on you if you move forward with your relationship and move in together down the road? Are you prepared to handle it?

Financial problems are one of the biggest problems in relationships. The love people have for one another when living separately can quickly change once bills and other financial obligations are added to the equation. You already have concern for finances and you're not living together. A red flag.

I'm sorry to say I think you have more to worry about than just finances. There is a deeper problem and that's the fact he stole from his mother. He never told you about it - you found out from his mother. Did his behavior change after he stole the $ ? Did you have any idea something was up? Has he shown any signs of guilt?