how do i win my ex back?????

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2007
how do i win my ex back?????
7
Wed, 03-28-2007 - 12:39am
My ex and I dated for 2 1/2 years we have been broken up for about nine months. We had a long distance relationship but, saw each other quite often because of my job. We had a good relationship with typical problems but nothing so horrible. The relatationship was a serious one we had even talked about marriage. I still cannot get him out of my head. I am covinced he is the one. At first we could not even talk because I could not stop crying but now we talk on the phone once or twice a week in which he does alot of the calling. Our conversations great we laugh and joke and talk about personal life isuues(except getting back together). I don't want to mess up the friendly relationship by discussing getting back together too soon but, I also don't want him to get away if I wait too long. So, when should I say something and how ????????? PLEASE HELP !!!!!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
Wed, 03-28-2007 - 2:12am

Maybe next time he calls you could tell him how you feel about him, in a "no pressure" kind of way. You could work it casually into the conversation and say something like "you're open to idea of getting back together." That way you're not asking him to DO anything, you're just putting the idea out there....

Do you have a sense on how open he would be to rekindling your relationship?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Wed, 03-28-2007 - 2:38pm

Welcome to the board shellyt72,


Next time you talk to him you could say something like, I was telling so and so that we have been talking

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Thu, 03-29-2007 - 12:15am
I would not say anything. See if he wants to meet up for lunch, play off of his body language. See what that leads to...
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 03-29-2007 - 12:10pm
Sounds good. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2007
Thu, 03-29-2007 - 5:27pm
the problem is(with meeting up) the lives in nyc & i live in another state.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2007
Thu, 03-29-2007 - 10:07pm
Hi
I know its hard but you can't do this to yourself anymore. Your ex has bad ample time to know if you're THE ONE or not. If he hasn't made a move to get you back it's cause he isn't thinking about having you back in his life. Sometimes men will be your "friend" to make their guilt go away.
I've been in this situation and it wasn't until I let the ex go and moved on TOTALLY that I found who is now my husband and the BEST thing that has ever happened.
You're not letting him get away, he's let you get away by not trying to get you back after nine months and by not putting a ring on your finger in the 2 and a half years you guys were together. Think about it - do you really want to go through the heartache again if he rejects you which he probably will since he hasn't made a move yet???? Please take care of your heart & move on! Good luck!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
Fri, 03-30-2007 - 3:45am
Honey, you may have to accept that there is no "getting back". You two are involved in totally different relationships. He apparently enjoys staying in touch with you as a friend, and you are seeing these phone calls as a means to an end: the "end" being getting back together. You have been deceiving him by participating in the "friend thing" when you have other motives and as soon as you reveal those motives, you may end up in tears again. If he were still interested in you "that way", you most likely would know it and would not be torturing yourself. The next time he calls, you need to tell him that your renewed friendship has revealed to you that you still have feelings for him, so you think it's best that you limit your contact. Then, end the call. This tells him two things: 1) you want a deeper relationship again; and 2) you are mature enough not to make an emotional trainwreck out of it. Then, hang up. If he calls you back, knowing these things, you may just have another chance with him. If he doesn't, you've saved yourself a ton of heartache.